I turned thirty. Wow. I dreaded this birthday and milked every bit of 29 and since turning thirty in January I have had my phone stolen (and with it all of my personal information, private family photos and classroom projects just to name a few things) had the flu, several tooth problems, sinus infection, and a strange neck/nerve disorder. Getting older sucks!
I will say that after a long and crazy school year last year, I am very excited to be teaching in gifted education. It has been a challenge balancing the curriculum and challenging and entertaining a variety of personalities and skills. It's a common misconception that gifted students or higher level thinkers are an easy group of well behaved children. They are mentally challenging and very egocentric when it comes to boundaries. However, they are amazing thinkers and possess such creative thoughts that the mental challenge is incredibly stimulating. I still have a few students that come from homes with little to no family support systems and one or two with anger issues and internal frustrations/low self esteem and self worth. These students need the challenge and mental stimulation even more so to help them gain the tools needed to overcome their environment and succeed. I hope whatever I can offer them stays with them and they continue to build on it. I am always surprised at the amazing conversations and discussions we have as a class. I'm so proud to help them grow and encourage free thought on a local and global level. They are all so diverse and amazing.
In other news-I do have great things to look forward to this year. I am looking forward to an upcoming trip with Faith to Colorado in March. It will be so good to see her and spend some quality time! It's so hard being far away! Thankfully we live an age where smartphones and webcams help. Also planning a vacation over the winter holidays with Curt and Carla.
Jeff and I went to Lowell observatory in Flagstaff this weekend and had an amazing time. Flagstaff is beautiful and if we could get jobs there and afford housing I'd love to live there. We learned about the discovery of Pluto and were able to view the research, slides and telescope used in the discovery. So interesting! Then we were able to view Jupiter, the moon and several star clusters and Orion's Belt through a variety of telescopes. Learning about the construction of the DCT was also incredibly fascinating. Can't wait to go back.
That's about it...thus far anyway.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Feb-2011 old blog somehow reposted: San Fran-the blog of my awful vacation luck and the good times withfriends
I did not proofread this so typos will follow. See the pics of my trip on Facebook. Some pretty good pictures. I got a few great ones in Alcatraz and of the bridge. Some other random stuff too from our trip. Looking at them makes me appreciate the trip more than I did while I was there, as you will read. It seems I had fun in the midst of bad luck and illness. :) Note: I use sarcasm heavily, I didn't really have the worst time ever, but for a vacation it was pretty awful.
So it started-my much awaited San Francisco vacation. We said good bye to the dog and my dad drove us to the airport.
So started the trouble.
Half way to the airport I realized I forgot my coat. Too late to turn around so onward and upward. At the airport we experienced flight delays due to the extreme fog and rain in SF. Had I known I could have turned around and retrieved my coat. The coat I would be missing dearly during our cold and wet stay. After four hours at the LV airport, we were finally off into the sky! Couldn't wait to see our friends from back home; we were meeting them there.
We arrived, retrieved our luggage and met up with our friends.
Did I mention I was diagnosed with swine flu at this time? Well I was. Sick, chest burning, wheezing, coughing, feverish and miserable. Thats OK, cause I was too excited to care! Oh wait, Carla was also diagnosed with swine flu in Ohio prior to our trip. Hm, this should get interesting. The boys were in good health. Yay for them.
Anyway, we took a 40$ cab ride to our hotel where we checked in and then set off to see the city sights and get some food. Well, when your grandparents say they walked up hill both ways to school in the snow you may want to ask them if they went to school in San Francisco. Chances are they did.
We walked up hill, steep steep hills, both ways to see the sights. With a burning chest this isn't exactly 'fun.' However, when we caught some great glimpses of the GG bridge and Alcatraz Island, it did bring that awesome vacation feeling to me. We stopped by a pastry shop to have dessert and coffee BEFORE dinner. :) Then had an amazing dinner at The Stinking Rose garlic restaurant. I LOVE GARLIC. It was great. We had garlic hummus, garlic fondue and then garlic portobello mushroom caps with garlic mashed potatoes. YUM.
Back at the room, I took my meds (as did Carla) and off to snoozeville I went. Sort of. Coughing ensued and sleep became semi-problematic. The next night I fixed this with heavier drug dosages.
Day 2: We woke up early and headed out on our long walk to shopping for groceries at Trader Joes. I also LOVE Trader Joes. After getting some food for our afternoon at the zoo and whale watching trip later this weekend we headed out on our bus ride to the SF zoo. We stopped at the Pacific Ocean to take some photos. Then we headed to the entrance. We bought our tickets and ponchos, for the steady yet light rain, and into the zoo we went. Giraffes were first, because they are the most awesome animal on the planet. After being thoroughly excited to see there was a program where you could feed the giraffes later that day, we went on to other exhibits. Most animals were in hiding. We saw a skinny dirty polar bear and some other misc. animals here and there. It was sad. What was more sad is that after an hour of being there a security employee told us they were asking everyone to leave and closing due to the rain. The rain that was no better or worse than it was when they took our money and let us in. No giraffe feeding, no refunds either. Although I did get to brush the goats and see some random farm animals. Yay. Carla did hump a sheep. That was exciting.
Well, Golden Gate bridge-here we come! The rain continued lightly, but still very steady. We took a bus to the GG bridge and my illness seemed to be getting worse. It became hard to breathe, but I stammered through it. The bridge would have been more exciting if it was not raining, but it was very neat to see and get photos of. We decided to walk across the bridge. Well as soon as we were safe and sound on the bridge a freak weather turn took us by surprise. Wind 50 mph+, hail and heavy rain pounded us as we trekked across the bridge. Wind so severe that it literally ripped Curt's poncho from his body as he walked. I was bitchy and miserable. It was loud from the rain, hail, wind and bridge traffic. The officer patrolling the bridge for jumpers stopped to pick us up, he felt bad for us, which was good since I was considering jumping at this time. As we piled into the back of his little car, thankful for him taking pity on us, we discovered he was a Brown's fan. We were all wearing some form of Steelers gear this day, so we were even more thankful he decided to pick us up. He was the best Brown's fan on the planet. He even congratulated us on our season.
As we were waiting for our next bus, to PF Changs for dinner, we stood for about 35 minutes in the cold rain. Skip forward past the rude bus driver-PF Chang's. YUM. Vegetarian Lettuce Wraps-unbelievable.
After dinner, we were given directions to the closest bus stop back into the city and to our hotel. we headed down the woodsy deserted trail that we nick named "rape alley" in hope of this bus stop we were told about. Seriously, the path looked like a crime scene from Law and Order SVU. After about 1.5 hours of walking, multiple bus stops and waiting in the cold rain, we finally found our way back to the city.
Drugs and sleep.
Day 3:
Fisherman's Wharf and Alcatraz day. I think we started this day with Coit Tower.
We walked to Ghiradelli and I thoroughly enjoyed some espresso in my hot cocoa while we stayed warm and dry inside. Jeff and Carla planned our path on the map and off we went. We checked out shops and piers. Typical tourist stuff. Had lunch at the wonderful rainforest cafe and tried to dry my knee high soaked pants. When the bill came I looked for my credit card. Of course I had lost it on our awful city trek the previous day. Later I found out that the waitress never returned it to me at PF Chang's. I had to sit on hold and answer 100 questions with the company. UGH!
Alcatraz Island was amazing. The history, the sights and the stories. The tour was great. Nothing bad to say about the tour.
Last full day: Up early for my much awaited whale watching tour. I had done a unit on whales with my 2nd graders and became quite knowledgeable about whales and whale behaviors and therefore super nerd like excited about this part of the trip. I was determined that this trip would turn around all of the bad luck we had been having. From delayed flights, getting lost, wet, swineflu, kicked out of the zoo, etc. This was the day I was going to see some of the most amazing animals and largest living creatures on the planet. Our tour guide looked like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and I instantly wanted to be his friend. He was a whale nerd and I loved him for it. Off into the Pacific we went. We saw a harbour porpoise (one) and some orange jellyfish and continued our journey further out in search of whales. We circled slowly around the Farrallon Islands. No whales. We stopped and picked up some scientists that had been staying on the island studying birds. No whales. We were 45 miles out into the wavy ocean. My husband, Jeff, was puking over the side of the boat. Carla was ill and sleeping. Curt was absolutely fine and positive. I was gettin very upset, with slight nausea, about not seeing a whale yet. As we headed back toward the bay and I realized I would not see a whale, I was angry. Angry at Shaggy, angry at the scientists and secretly bitter with Curt who was still happy-go-lucky and drinking a beer. lol. Jeff slept and tried to refrain from puking again. I am now a firm believer that whales are mythical beings from fairy tales. OK not really, but damn was I upset.
Upon our arrival, Jeff took a bus back to the hotel alone, because he was still rocking and ill from the trip. Carla, Curt and I, walked the wharf some more and saw some sea lions, local crab catchers, and some break dancers in the street that thought they were the coolest thing since sliced bread. A few names of these dancers were Sexual Soy Sauce and Black Licorice. A child from the audience showed them up by interrupting their routine and running out and break dancing in the middle of the show. Haha for them. Good job kid. They were good, but egotistical. We took our picture with their ring leader and fed his ego more. I had to convince Carla not run off with him and ruin her marriage. Alright, that last part isn't exactly true. We went to the aquarium and were able to pet some sting rays, starfish and sea cucumbers. The aquairum was neat. I also saw a shark get pissed off and spray water from his mouth at probing children. I was still very upset about no whales. I did see some at the gift shop though. Plush whales.
As we were headed to the airport the next day the cab driver informed us that it rained a lot in SF. I replied with, "yeah, no f'ing kidding." Jeff hit me, gently. I was scolded for being rude. I explained his job was to drive, not to state the obvious. I didn't say this to the driver, I said it to Jeff. I later felt slightly bad for being a jerk. I had a slight chip on my ill shoulder. I thought that we were finally leaving this city of freak monsoons on bridges, and awful luck. Well we weren't gone yet. At the airport I noticed the security woman giving me a rude cold blatant stare down as we stood in line. I pointed it out to Jeff thinking I was surely mistaken. Jeff agreed that she was very rudely staring at me. We used the term, 'eye-fucking' which isn't exactly appropriate-sorry. She continued to give me the stare down. I thought, oh well I'm outta here soon. When we reached the metal detector she not so nicely asked me to step into the clear plastic holding cell behind her. She abruptly turned her back to me and did not answer when I asked her what I should do and why I was in there. She waited for ten minutes while I stood in the cell in the middle of security. I yelled over the plastic to Jeff, "See what I tell you?" The woman finally called to another woman and the other one opened the door and asked the rude security guard what she needed. She told her to give me the full body. As the new officer escorted me out of the cell to a mat, still in the middle of security, she asked me if I set off the sensor. I said no so she then told me it was strange that I was detained. I said the security woman had an attitude problem. The officer laughed. She then proceeded to feel me up, down and all around in front of the security line traffic. Apparently, I look like a terrorist.
Home at last! I get home and greet my adoring and most missed dog. I then open my suitcase to give my dad some salt water taffy as a thank you for watching my daughter dog. Silly me, I thought the horror was over. I was wrong. They searched my luggage in SF and didn't put things back correctly. My shampoo, conditioner and make-up products were now all over my entire suitcase of clothing. Smeared on everything.
I hate the city. I am sticking to the good San-San Diego.
That is my trip. It was great seeing Curt and Carla and without them there it would have been much worse. Thinking back on it, it still isn't a funny story. Alright, it is semi-amusing now that it is over and it was nice to get away with friends. I am still upset about the money spent on the trip from hell. Next time we will spend the money on the good San.
It has been good to be back. I was glad to see my class again and be back at work. I must add that I am very proud of my class and how well they scored on their ATI tests. I hold my students to a high behavior and working standard. They did well and I am proud of their hard work. :) I am also glad to be on Spring Break right now! Lots of gym time this week with Amanda and relaxing. Also going into the school to get some work done there and finish the report cards. Now to bed-Amanda will be waking me up at an early time to go to pilates. My abs hurt already! OUCH! :)
So it started-my much awaited San Francisco vacation. We said good bye to the dog and my dad drove us to the airport.
So started the trouble.
Half way to the airport I realized I forgot my coat. Too late to turn around so onward and upward. At the airport we experienced flight delays due to the extreme fog and rain in SF. Had I known I could have turned around and retrieved my coat. The coat I would be missing dearly during our cold and wet stay. After four hours at the LV airport, we were finally off into the sky! Couldn't wait to see our friends from back home; we were meeting them there.
We arrived, retrieved our luggage and met up with our friends.
Did I mention I was diagnosed with swine flu at this time? Well I was. Sick, chest burning, wheezing, coughing, feverish and miserable. Thats OK, cause I was too excited to care! Oh wait, Carla was also diagnosed with swine flu in Ohio prior to our trip. Hm, this should get interesting. The boys were in good health. Yay for them.
Anyway, we took a 40$ cab ride to our hotel where we checked in and then set off to see the city sights and get some food. Well, when your grandparents say they walked up hill both ways to school in the snow you may want to ask them if they went to school in San Francisco. Chances are they did.
We walked up hill, steep steep hills, both ways to see the sights. With a burning chest this isn't exactly 'fun.' However, when we caught some great glimpses of the GG bridge and Alcatraz Island, it did bring that awesome vacation feeling to me. We stopped by a pastry shop to have dessert and coffee BEFORE dinner. :) Then had an amazing dinner at The Stinking Rose garlic restaurant. I LOVE GARLIC. It was great. We had garlic hummus, garlic fondue and then garlic portobello mushroom caps with garlic mashed potatoes. YUM.
Back at the room, I took my meds (as did Carla) and off to snoozeville I went. Sort of. Coughing ensued and sleep became semi-problematic. The next night I fixed this with heavier drug dosages.
Day 2: We woke up early and headed out on our long walk to shopping for groceries at Trader Joes. I also LOVE Trader Joes. After getting some food for our afternoon at the zoo and whale watching trip later this weekend we headed out on our bus ride to the SF zoo. We stopped at the Pacific Ocean to take some photos. Then we headed to the entrance. We bought our tickets and ponchos, for the steady yet light rain, and into the zoo we went. Giraffes were first, because they are the most awesome animal on the planet. After being thoroughly excited to see there was a program where you could feed the giraffes later that day, we went on to other exhibits. Most animals were in hiding. We saw a skinny dirty polar bear and some other misc. animals here and there. It was sad. What was more sad is that after an hour of being there a security employee told us they were asking everyone to leave and closing due to the rain. The rain that was no better or worse than it was when they took our money and let us in. No giraffe feeding, no refunds either. Although I did get to brush the goats and see some random farm animals. Yay. Carla did hump a sheep. That was exciting.
Well, Golden Gate bridge-here we come! The rain continued lightly, but still very steady. We took a bus to the GG bridge and my illness seemed to be getting worse. It became hard to breathe, but I stammered through it. The bridge would have been more exciting if it was not raining, but it was very neat to see and get photos of. We decided to walk across the bridge. Well as soon as we were safe and sound on the bridge a freak weather turn took us by surprise. Wind 50 mph+, hail and heavy rain pounded us as we trekked across the bridge. Wind so severe that it literally ripped Curt's poncho from his body as he walked. I was bitchy and miserable. It was loud from the rain, hail, wind and bridge traffic. The officer patrolling the bridge for jumpers stopped to pick us up, he felt bad for us, which was good since I was considering jumping at this time. As we piled into the back of his little car, thankful for him taking pity on us, we discovered he was a Brown's fan. We were all wearing some form of Steelers gear this day, so we were even more thankful he decided to pick us up. He was the best Brown's fan on the planet. He even congratulated us on our season.
As we were waiting for our next bus, to PF Changs for dinner, we stood for about 35 minutes in the cold rain. Skip forward past the rude bus driver-PF Chang's. YUM. Vegetarian Lettuce Wraps-unbelievable.
After dinner, we were given directions to the closest bus stop back into the city and to our hotel. we headed down the woodsy deserted trail that we nick named "rape alley" in hope of this bus stop we were told about. Seriously, the path looked like a crime scene from Law and Order SVU. After about 1.5 hours of walking, multiple bus stops and waiting in the cold rain, we finally found our way back to the city.
Drugs and sleep.
Day 3:
Fisherman's Wharf and Alcatraz day. I think we started this day with Coit Tower.
We walked to Ghiradelli and I thoroughly enjoyed some espresso in my hot cocoa while we stayed warm and dry inside. Jeff and Carla planned our path on the map and off we went. We checked out shops and piers. Typical tourist stuff. Had lunch at the wonderful rainforest cafe and tried to dry my knee high soaked pants. When the bill came I looked for my credit card. Of course I had lost it on our awful city trek the previous day. Later I found out that the waitress never returned it to me at PF Chang's. I had to sit on hold and answer 100 questions with the company. UGH!
Alcatraz Island was amazing. The history, the sights and the stories. The tour was great. Nothing bad to say about the tour.
Last full day: Up early for my much awaited whale watching tour. I had done a unit on whales with my 2nd graders and became quite knowledgeable about whales and whale behaviors and therefore super nerd like excited about this part of the trip. I was determined that this trip would turn around all of the bad luck we had been having. From delayed flights, getting lost, wet, swineflu, kicked out of the zoo, etc. This was the day I was going to see some of the most amazing animals and largest living creatures on the planet. Our tour guide looked like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo and I instantly wanted to be his friend. He was a whale nerd and I loved him for it. Off into the Pacific we went. We saw a harbour porpoise (one) and some orange jellyfish and continued our journey further out in search of whales. We circled slowly around the Farrallon Islands. No whales. We stopped and picked up some scientists that had been staying on the island studying birds. No whales. We were 45 miles out into the wavy ocean. My husband, Jeff, was puking over the side of the boat. Carla was ill and sleeping. Curt was absolutely fine and positive. I was gettin very upset, with slight nausea, about not seeing a whale yet. As we headed back toward the bay and I realized I would not see a whale, I was angry. Angry at Shaggy, angry at the scientists and secretly bitter with Curt who was still happy-go-lucky and drinking a beer. lol. Jeff slept and tried to refrain from puking again. I am now a firm believer that whales are mythical beings from fairy tales. OK not really, but damn was I upset.
Upon our arrival, Jeff took a bus back to the hotel alone, because he was still rocking and ill from the trip. Carla, Curt and I, walked the wharf some more and saw some sea lions, local crab catchers, and some break dancers in the street that thought they were the coolest thing since sliced bread. A few names of these dancers were Sexual Soy Sauce and Black Licorice. A child from the audience showed them up by interrupting their routine and running out and break dancing in the middle of the show. Haha for them. Good job kid. They were good, but egotistical. We took our picture with their ring leader and fed his ego more. I had to convince Carla not run off with him and ruin her marriage. Alright, that last part isn't exactly true. We went to the aquarium and were able to pet some sting rays, starfish and sea cucumbers. The aquairum was neat. I also saw a shark get pissed off and spray water from his mouth at probing children. I was still very upset about no whales. I did see some at the gift shop though. Plush whales.
As we were headed to the airport the next day the cab driver informed us that it rained a lot in SF. I replied with, "yeah, no f'ing kidding." Jeff hit me, gently. I was scolded for being rude. I explained his job was to drive, not to state the obvious. I didn't say this to the driver, I said it to Jeff. I later felt slightly bad for being a jerk. I had a slight chip on my ill shoulder. I thought that we were finally leaving this city of freak monsoons on bridges, and awful luck. Well we weren't gone yet. At the airport I noticed the security woman giving me a rude cold blatant stare down as we stood in line. I pointed it out to Jeff thinking I was surely mistaken. Jeff agreed that she was very rudely staring at me. We used the term, 'eye-fucking' which isn't exactly appropriate-sorry. She continued to give me the stare down. I thought, oh well I'm outta here soon. When we reached the metal detector she not so nicely asked me to step into the clear plastic holding cell behind her. She abruptly turned her back to me and did not answer when I asked her what I should do and why I was in there. She waited for ten minutes while I stood in the cell in the middle of security. I yelled over the plastic to Jeff, "See what I tell you?" The woman finally called to another woman and the other one opened the door and asked the rude security guard what she needed. She told her to give me the full body. As the new officer escorted me out of the cell to a mat, still in the middle of security, she asked me if I set off the sensor. I said no so she then told me it was strange that I was detained. I said the security woman had an attitude problem. The officer laughed. She then proceeded to feel me up, down and all around in front of the security line traffic. Apparently, I look like a terrorist.
Home at last! I get home and greet my adoring and most missed dog. I then open my suitcase to give my dad some salt water taffy as a thank you for watching my daughter dog. Silly me, I thought the horror was over. I was wrong. They searched my luggage in SF and didn't put things back correctly. My shampoo, conditioner and make-up products were now all over my entire suitcase of clothing. Smeared on everything.
I hate the city. I am sticking to the good San-San Diego.
That is my trip. It was great seeing Curt and Carla and without them there it would have been much worse. Thinking back on it, it still isn't a funny story. Alright, it is semi-amusing now that it is over and it was nice to get away with friends. I am still upset about the money spent on the trip from hell. Next time we will spend the money on the good San.
It has been good to be back. I was glad to see my class again and be back at work. I must add that I am very proud of my class and how well they scored on their ATI tests. I hold my students to a high behavior and working standard. They did well and I am proud of their hard work. :) I am also glad to be on Spring Break right now! Lots of gym time this week with Amanda and relaxing. Also going into the school to get some work done there and finish the report cards. Now to bed-Amanda will be waking me up at an early time to go to pilates. My abs hurt already! OUCH! :)
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Politics, again. Controversy ahead.
I posted this as a link to my blog so that you can choose to click or disregard. You don't have to agree with my opinions. The bills at the bottom-not opinions. This is not meant to offend anyone and I realize and respect that my friends and family may not completely agree. I love that about this country-we are free to have and express our opinions and hopefully, those of us that are educated, can remain friends at the end of the day. I believe we all ultimately want the same thing as good human beings-a safe and secure world.
It is my opinion that there is no such thing as a fiscal conservative and a social democrat. These things are not separate. You chose fiscal over social you can't say I am ok with the gays and women's rights and then vote for people that will rip apart these issues for the religious right. Saying you are a fiscal conservative but a social democrat is a cop out. Yeah, I said it. I feel strongly about social issues, because they affect my friends and family members that identify themselves as gay, transgender, female, single, unemployed (not due to laziness), educated and struggling.
I don't agree with absolutely every democratic view and I don't disagree with every republican view. I just believe more democratic views are better for the majority of Americans and children.
That's my opinion and I understand and accept it may not be yours-whoever you are.
I enjoyed living in a swing state...at least my vote counted and I was able to truly hear both candidates and make more informed decisions. Electoral college-blah. That being said,
debates...
Candidate Romney, well spoken, but confusing as ever...pick a stance you can't please everyone as you stated in your now so popular 47%speech. When you say you are for 100% of the people that is surely the 100% of the 53% left after you deducted the lazy freeloaders? How Obama was not able to fight him on this debate is beyond me-he needs to start waking up and explaining to people the things he has done. Too many look at the things they read in a forwarded email or FB group post (I did this once-I was horrified at my lack of responsibility, but it won't happen again) and think Truth-I hate Obama! Yay! Winning! Go team other guys!
...
Candidate Ryan should come to second grade and I can teach him the difference between fiction and non-fiction. He obviously enjoys make believe pretend time. I lose respect for people that pretend they are going to help the middle class people when in reality they have a history of voting the opposite. Also, I respect your faith, but it does not belong in my government policy. I respect your faith, please respect science, which is not life at conception, and my choices. This is just ridiculous. Biden could not have been more well spoken on this issue amongst the others. Oh, and the car accident story to prove Romney bought a guy's college tuition (and his vote) -what a dick move. Did he know about Biden's wife and child? I believe so, but I'd like to hope not. I truly wish Biden would've run for president four years ago. He is amazing, educated and lives in reality. Also, vote for men that want to cut education? No thanks. Men that support a voucher type system that will destroy public schools (with the exception of charter schools-which is another topic for me entirely. I have several friends that work at charter schools in different states and I love them dearly, but charter schools are not a real picture of public school systems and have access to more perks and loopholes) Say what you will...
Democrats aren't perfect-no party is. This being said I truly believe middle class (majority) Americans and those that believe in human rights strongly as well as education and community including women's health, need to truly look deeper into the difference between republicans and democrats.
Republican blocked or attempted blocks on bills and bill amendments since Obama took office: in other words-republicans in congress did not want these bills:
Tax on Companies that ship jobs overseas- A bill that would have eliminated a tax break that companies get when they ship jobs overseas. Republicans blocked this, allowing companies to keep the tax break they receive when they ship jobs to other countries.
The Small Business Jobs Act -would give LOCAL, community banks access to billions of dollars to loan to small businesses. Republicans blocked this, then attempted to block it a second time and failed.
The DREAM Act- Gives immigrant youth who were brought here as children a path to citizenship by earning a college degree or serving the military for 2 years. Republicans blocked this.
Repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”- Would have repealed the law that forces gay and lesbian services members to lie about their sexuality and gives the military the right to discharge soldiers based on their sexuality. Republicans blocked this many times and Democrats were finally able to pass it with the support of just 2 Republicans.
Veteran's jobs bill-blocked by republicans-(only five R voted in favor)
Student loans-Senate Republicans blocked a bill that would have frozen student loan interest rates before they are set to double on July 1.
Paycheck Fairness Act –this bill would have mandated pay fairness and prohibited pay discrimination based on sex this would have created fair workplace system with regard to pay. In other words, Republicans voted in favor of paying women less money for the same job.
- Melanie Blocker Stokes Mom’s Opportunity to Access Health, Education, Research, and Support for Postpartum Depression Act – This bill would have provided for research into women’s health issues, specifically regarding post-partum health. - this bill was finally passed as an add on the Pres. Obamas health care bill.
Elder Abuse Victims Act – This bill would address legal issues regarding the elderly, and establish policies and procedures designed to minimize the negative effects of elder abuse, neglect and exploitation.
Wounded Veteran Job Security Act
To amend title 38, United States Code, to prohibit discrimination and acts of reprisal against persons who receive treatment for illnesses, injuries, and disabilities incurred in or aggravated by service in the uniformed services.
Radioactive Import Deterrence Act –this bill would prohibit the issuance of licenses to import of low-level nuclear material and waste to this country. It specifically exempts nuclear waste belonging to the United States, and it allows the president to make exceptions where necessary. Land of the free and radioactive?
Vision Care for Kids Act – Of course, this would provide eyesight screening for children who do not have insurance that covers this, and help provide them with glasses.
Federal Employees Paid Parental Leave Act – This bill would allow federal employees to substitute any available paid leave for any unpaid leave for “either the: (1) birth of a child; or (2) placement of a child with the employee for either adoption or foster care. Makes available (subject to specified requirements) for any of the 12 weeks of leave an employee is entitled to for such purposes: (1) four administrative weeks of paid parental leave in connection with the birth or placement involved; and (2) any accumulated annual or sick leave. it allows federal money to take money they are already entitled to sooner than perhaps they originally planned. The actual net cost to the federal government would essentially be zero dollars above what they would already pay.
Stop Child Abuse in Residential Programs for Teens Act – This bill would actually improve oversight and prevent child abuse in group homes.
Alien Smuggling and Terrorism Prevention Act- The intent of this bill is to crack down on aIien smuggling and provide for better border enforcement and stiffer penalties for violators. In other words, it does many of the things Jan Brewer is pıssed off about in Arizona.
- Veterans Retraining Act – This bill would provide for assistance to help veterans who are currently unemployed with their expenses while retraining for the current job market.
It is my opinion that there is no such thing as a fiscal conservative and a social democrat. These things are not separate. You chose fiscal over social you can't say I am ok with the gays and women's rights and then vote for people that will rip apart these issues for the religious right. Saying you are a fiscal conservative but a social democrat is a cop out. Yeah, I said it. I feel strongly about social issues, because they affect my friends and family members that identify themselves as gay, transgender, female, single, unemployed (not due to laziness), educated and struggling.
I don't agree with absolutely every democratic view and I don't disagree with every republican view. I just believe more democratic views are better for the majority of Americans and children.
That's my opinion and I understand and accept it may not be yours-whoever you are.
I enjoyed living in a swing state...at least my vote counted and I was able to truly hear both candidates and make more informed decisions. Electoral college-blah. That being said,
debates...
Candidate Romney, well spoken, but confusing as ever...pick a stance you can't please everyone as you stated in your now so popular 47%speech. When you say you are for 100% of the people that is surely the 100% of the 53% left after you deducted the lazy freeloaders? How Obama was not able to fight him on this debate is beyond me-he needs to start waking up and explaining to people the things he has done. Too many look at the things they read in a forwarded email or FB group post (I did this once-I was horrified at my lack of responsibility, but it won't happen again) and think Truth-I hate Obama! Yay! Winning! Go team other guys!
...
Candidate Ryan should come to second grade and I can teach him the difference between fiction and non-fiction. He obviously enjoys make believe pretend time. I lose respect for people that pretend they are going to help the middle class people when in reality they have a history of voting the opposite. Also, I respect your faith, but it does not belong in my government policy. I respect your faith, please respect science, which is not life at conception, and my choices. This is just ridiculous. Biden could not have been more well spoken on this issue amongst the others. Oh, and the car accident story to prove Romney bought a guy's college tuition (and his vote) -what a dick move. Did he know about Biden's wife and child? I believe so, but I'd like to hope not. I truly wish Biden would've run for president four years ago. He is amazing, educated and lives in reality. Also, vote for men that want to cut education? No thanks. Men that support a voucher type system that will destroy public schools (with the exception of charter schools-which is another topic for me entirely. I have several friends that work at charter schools in different states and I love them dearly, but charter schools are not a real picture of public school systems and have access to more perks and loopholes) Say what you will...
Democrats aren't perfect-no party is. This being said I truly believe middle class (majority) Americans and those that believe in human rights strongly as well as education and community including women's health, need to truly look deeper into the difference between republicans and democrats.
Republican blocked or attempted blocks on bills and bill amendments since Obama took office: in other words-republicans in congress did not want these bills:
Tax on Companies that ship jobs overseas- A bill that would have eliminated a tax break that companies get when they ship jobs overseas. Republicans blocked this, allowing companies to keep the tax break they receive when they ship jobs to other countries.
The Small Business Jobs Act -would give LOCAL, community banks access to billions of dollars to loan to small businesses. Republicans blocked this, then attempted to block it a second time and failed.
The DREAM Act- Gives immigrant youth who were brought here as children a path to citizenship by earning a college degree or serving the military for 2 years. Republicans blocked this.
Repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”- Would have repealed the law that forces gay and lesbian services members to lie about their sexuality and gives the military the right to discharge soldiers based on their sexuality. Republicans blocked this many times and Democrats were finally able to pass it with the support of just 2 Republicans.
Veteran's jobs bill-blocked by republicans-(only five R voted in favor)
Student loans-Senate Republicans blocked a bill that would have frozen student loan interest rates before they are set to double on July 1.
Paycheck Fairness Act –this bill would have mandated pay fairness and prohibited pay discrimination based on sex this would have created fair workplace system with regard to pay. In other words, Republicans voted in favor of paying women less money for the same job.
- Melanie Blocker Stokes Mom’s Opportunity to Access Health, Education, Research, and Support for Postpartum Depression Act – This bill would have provided for research into women’s health issues, specifically regarding post-partum health. - this bill was finally passed as an add on the Pres. Obamas health care bill.
Elder Abuse Victims Act – This bill would address legal issues regarding the elderly, and establish policies and procedures designed to minimize the negative effects of elder abuse, neglect and exploitation.
Wounded Veteran Job Security Act
To amend title 38, United States Code, to prohibit discrimination and acts of reprisal against persons who receive treatment for illnesses, injuries, and disabilities incurred in or aggravated by service in the uniformed services.
Radioactive Import Deterrence Act –this bill would prohibit the issuance of licenses to import of low-level nuclear material and waste to this country. It specifically exempts nuclear waste belonging to the United States, and it allows the president to make exceptions where necessary. Land of the free and radioactive?
Vision Care for Kids Act – Of course, this would provide eyesight screening for children who do not have insurance that covers this, and help provide them with glasses.
Federal Employees Paid Parental Leave Act – This bill would allow federal employees to substitute any available paid leave for any unpaid leave for “either the: (1) birth of a child; or (2) placement of a child with the employee for either adoption or foster care. Makes available (subject to specified requirements) for any of the 12 weeks of leave an employee is entitled to for such purposes: (1) four administrative weeks of paid parental leave in connection with the birth or placement involved; and (2) any accumulated annual or sick leave. it allows federal money to take money they are already entitled to sooner than perhaps they originally planned. The actual net cost to the federal government would essentially be zero dollars above what they would already pay.
Stop Child Abuse in Residential Programs for Teens Act – This bill would actually improve oversight and prevent child abuse in group homes.
Alien Smuggling and Terrorism Prevention Act- The intent of this bill is to crack down on aIien smuggling and provide for better border enforcement and stiffer penalties for violators. In other words, it does many of the things Jan Brewer is pıssed off about in Arizona.
- Veterans Retraining Act – This bill would provide for assistance to help veterans who are currently unemployed with their expenses while retraining for the current job market.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
29
I have had a very interesting school year. Yes, that is how I chose to start this long postponed blog. Interesting.
I have students with very big troubles this year-and since I am not technically allowed to go into details, I'll just say the law has been involved and I have about 4 students with major internal issues on topics that usually don't get addressed until highschool.
It's been tough. However, I have some amazing students as well. Amazing doesn't always mean intelligent. It means wonderful, caring and loving students. These are the ones that keep me there this year. I have always been known to attach to my troubled students, this year my troubled students are very detached and much more than typical troubled. If I had to handle only them, I'd be great, but unfortunately that is not the way our school system works. This semester I have vowed to start over with them and give them my 100% best. So far January has been a little better. I think I needed the break as much or more than they did.
As for my life outside of work-I cannot continue to shout how much I have been blessed in my personal life. I have never felt happier and more confident in my personal life. I have created some strong relationships with amazing people and I don't know what I would do without any of them! It is so nice to be accepted and not judged for my thoughts, fears, views and loves. Especially after being judged so much growing up. I must say, my late twenties have been amazing and I hope this last year is even better. 30 is one short year away and I am not sure how I will handle it. I do know that no matter what I have people around me to help me out and support me and steer me back on the right path in life. When I question my own choices and motives they are there to listen and offer guidance.
Without that guidance, I may be in a very different place right now. ha-ha. :) That's for you fab-5! Perhaps, you could say I'd be in a foreign land? Love!
I have missed some amazing things too, which makes me a little sad. The birth of my rock of a best friend's daughter Elyse. I have lost touch along the way with another dear friend Anne and hope to renew that friendship-I don't blame her for being out of touch, I too have responsibility in this. That is why I must also make a renewed effort. She has also given birth to a beautiful little girl-only hours before my brithday! I feel that certain family members have lost touch with me and it makes me sad, but when things are out of your hands you can't change them. I am thankful for webcams and video mail-I get all the updates from my brother and his family constantly. I also get to see and hear Elyse, Faith's daughter. I guess when you put distance between you, you find out who cares the most to make time and who lets life become an excuse to get in the way. Sometimes, as stated above, it is both parties that let go, but I have come to see that in most cases it has been a very one sided effort of phone calls and text messages etc. and when it is a one sided effort-there isn't much you can do. It hurts, but it's life. In life I choose to move on and be thankful for the amazing people I do have in my life. LOVE!
Kingman is not an exciting town. It is small and lacks diversity in every aspect. However, it is close to interesting things and I have family and friends here as well as a job that I truly do love. I am learning that it is not where you are, but who you surround yourself with that makes for a happy experience.
I am very excited to see my extended family back in PA in June for my cousin's wedding. It will be so nice to see all of my Dagres family again. Loud, disruptive and full of love.
I am also very excited to head up to northern Cali in less than one month to visit Amanda! A nice long weekend of wine, conversation and visiting with her amazing family. :) can't wait!
I guess the real reason I chose to blog today was because I cannot talk. I have been plagued with some kind of chest/sinus sickness that has made my voice disappear and replaced it with a pubescent boy's voice mixed with a chain smoking old man.
I have students with very big troubles this year-and since I am not technically allowed to go into details, I'll just say the law has been involved and I have about 4 students with major internal issues on topics that usually don't get addressed until highschool.
It's been tough. However, I have some amazing students as well. Amazing doesn't always mean intelligent. It means wonderful, caring and loving students. These are the ones that keep me there this year. I have always been known to attach to my troubled students, this year my troubled students are very detached and much more than typical troubled. If I had to handle only them, I'd be great, but unfortunately that is not the way our school system works. This semester I have vowed to start over with them and give them my 100% best. So far January has been a little better. I think I needed the break as much or more than they did.
As for my life outside of work-I cannot continue to shout how much I have been blessed in my personal life. I have never felt happier and more confident in my personal life. I have created some strong relationships with amazing people and I don't know what I would do without any of them! It is so nice to be accepted and not judged for my thoughts, fears, views and loves. Especially after being judged so much growing up. I must say, my late twenties have been amazing and I hope this last year is even better. 30 is one short year away and I am not sure how I will handle it. I do know that no matter what I have people around me to help me out and support me and steer me back on the right path in life. When I question my own choices and motives they are there to listen and offer guidance.
Without that guidance, I may be in a very different place right now. ha-ha. :) That's for you fab-5! Perhaps, you could say I'd be in a foreign land? Love!
I have missed some amazing things too, which makes me a little sad. The birth of my rock of a best friend's daughter Elyse. I have lost touch along the way with another dear friend Anne and hope to renew that friendship-I don't blame her for being out of touch, I too have responsibility in this. That is why I must also make a renewed effort. She has also given birth to a beautiful little girl-only hours before my brithday! I feel that certain family members have lost touch with me and it makes me sad, but when things are out of your hands you can't change them. I am thankful for webcams and video mail-I get all the updates from my brother and his family constantly. I also get to see and hear Elyse, Faith's daughter. I guess when you put distance between you, you find out who cares the most to make time and who lets life become an excuse to get in the way. Sometimes, as stated above, it is both parties that let go, but I have come to see that in most cases it has been a very one sided effort of phone calls and text messages etc. and when it is a one sided effort-there isn't much you can do. It hurts, but it's life. In life I choose to move on and be thankful for the amazing people I do have in my life. LOVE!
Kingman is not an exciting town. It is small and lacks diversity in every aspect. However, it is close to interesting things and I have family and friends here as well as a job that I truly do love. I am learning that it is not where you are, but who you surround yourself with that makes for a happy experience.
I am very excited to see my extended family back in PA in June for my cousin's wedding. It will be so nice to see all of my Dagres family again. Loud, disruptive and full of love.
I am also very excited to head up to northern Cali in less than one month to visit Amanda! A nice long weekend of wine, conversation and visiting with her amazing family. :) can't wait!
I guess the real reason I chose to blog today was because I cannot talk. I have been plagued with some kind of chest/sinus sickness that has made my voice disappear and replaced it with a pubescent boy's voice mixed with a chain smoking old man.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
judgement
Over the past few days I have had several thought provoking conversations with varying degrees of importance. These are those stories...DUN-DUN. :)
Judgement.
No one wants to be judged poorly. I have been judged unfairly multiple times throughout my life by the way I dressed, spoke, my beliefs and the people I chose to associate with. I hated that people judged me by such outside observations. I spent a great deal of my life as a somewhat depressed and very insecure person. As I reached adulthood I embraced my alternative, liberal views and decided to associate with people that accepted me for the uniquely loud, fiesty, angsty, liberal, classy, woman that says fuck a lot. Somewhere along the way I may have forgot how strength is gained from experience and support systems that you build in your life. Strength is not something that everyone possesses; it isn't granted like a wish and not everyone walks away from their life's experiences with strength. As some very strong, and each uniquely beautiful, women recently discussed with me: everyone has a story.
I tend to be very empathetic with children that come from poverty and abuse since I see it in my job all the time. For some of these children, I am there only positive, safe and stable support. Due to the fact that they cannot truly defend themselves against the huge waves of emotions they are attempting to process stemming from a variety of abusive situations, I tend to not judge them, but to comfort them. I haven't been giving adults the same courtesy. I feel like they should know better, or be able to have the strength to overcome their past and present and create their own future. Unfortunately, many people were never given the tools to survive and overcome the negativity that emcompasses their lives. Restating: strength is not given freely and everyone has a story. Some people are bitter, jeaous, negative, self-loathing, spiteful, vindictive, hateful, insecure and just looking for someone to give them the tools needed to climb their way out. While I have never been a people person per say, I am going to try to remember not to judge those people I encounter in my everyday life, but remember that everyone has their own private battles that they endure.
By the way-Amanda, get me some dates for your visit! :)
My partner in life:
Jeff amazes me-he is a truly happy and social being. He has overcome so many personal struggles and accomplished so much. He is not quick to pass judgement and he enjoys the little things in life. He had some very big obstacles in his past that he has overcome, and he helps me with my insecurities and my social issues by showing support and encouragement. Inspiring.
As always Faith-without her I wouldn't be who I am. She has always ALWAYS been there for me in my life. I miss her everyday being so far away, but no distance can interfere with our friendship. She is a huge part of the reason I am still a sane human being. Mostly sane anyway.
Judgement.
No one wants to be judged poorly. I have been judged unfairly multiple times throughout my life by the way I dressed, spoke, my beliefs and the people I chose to associate with. I hated that people judged me by such outside observations. I spent a great deal of my life as a somewhat depressed and very insecure person. As I reached adulthood I embraced my alternative, liberal views and decided to associate with people that accepted me for the uniquely loud, fiesty, angsty, liberal, classy, woman that says fuck a lot. Somewhere along the way I may have forgot how strength is gained from experience and support systems that you build in your life. Strength is not something that everyone possesses; it isn't granted like a wish and not everyone walks away from their life's experiences with strength. As some very strong, and each uniquely beautiful, women recently discussed with me: everyone has a story.
I tend to be very empathetic with children that come from poverty and abuse since I see it in my job all the time. For some of these children, I am there only positive, safe and stable support. Due to the fact that they cannot truly defend themselves against the huge waves of emotions they are attempting to process stemming from a variety of abusive situations, I tend to not judge them, but to comfort them. I haven't been giving adults the same courtesy. I feel like they should know better, or be able to have the strength to overcome their past and present and create their own future. Unfortunately, many people were never given the tools to survive and overcome the negativity that emcompasses their lives. Restating: strength is not given freely and everyone has a story. Some people are bitter, jeaous, negative, self-loathing, spiteful, vindictive, hateful, insecure and just looking for someone to give them the tools needed to climb their way out. While I have never been a people person per say, I am going to try to remember not to judge those people I encounter in my everyday life, but remember that everyone has their own private battles that they endure.
This does not mean I am giving everyone a free pass to be a douche bag or a stuck up bitch. Some people are just bad news and continually make bad chocies and crave negative attention and take everyone around them down with them. Some people don't want to change and will not change. Those people are sad and sick.
By the way-Amanda, get me some dates for your visit! :)
My partner in life:
Jeff amazes me-he is a truly happy and social being. He has overcome so many personal struggles and accomplished so much. He is not quick to pass judgement and he enjoys the little things in life. He had some very big obstacles in his past that he has overcome, and he helps me with my insecurities and my social issues by showing support and encouragement. Inspiring.
As always Faith-without her I wouldn't be who I am. She has always ALWAYS been there for me in my life. I miss her everyday being so far away, but no distance can interfere with our friendship. She is a huge part of the reason I am still a sane human being. Mostly sane anyway.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Love Completely
I have an AMAZING husband. I was watching him sleep (he finally fell asleep after tossing and turning) and thinking, I am truly lucky in love.
It's true-He isn't the easiest to live with (neither am I) he has his little ticks that make me crazy and we bicker and argue often. We have had huge-knock-down-drag-out-life-altering conflicts, and we have had tiny little annoying bickers.
HOWEVER-I love our little bickering, I hate his habits, but would hate it more if they weren't around to drive me crazy. I miss him when he is gone. He understands my emotions and the way I think. He respects and supports my decisions and finds ways to make me happy when I am not feeling so well. He is encouraging and comforting.
When we moved to Kingman I went through a great depression; not the down-economic-kind of great depression, the kind you go through when you remove yourself from best friends and close family and familiarity and move across the country to no friends, little family and unfamiliar people and places. I went to work, drove home, and went to bed. That was my life. I gained weight, became unmotivated and lazy and an all around miserable person. He held me when I cried, he lied with me when I wouldn't leave my bed and most importantly he told me to snap out of it and live life or stop whining! :)
He has been supportive of me during my nine years of college education, he has put up with my anxiety, he has encouraged me to go out and live and be happy.
He loves me with my physical and emotional flaws. He chose to stick by me through rough times when life wasn't easy and decisions were effecting our lives in different ways. He has sacrificed for me-and I get overwhelmed sometimes, because I don't know how to react.
I am thankful to have him and can't imagine my life without him. I just hope he is as happy with me as I am with him. I love him completely. When everyone else is gone-I have him.
I hope that everyone finds that kind of love and holds it tight, because I couldn't imagine what I would do if it got away.
It's true-He isn't the easiest to live with (neither am I) he has his little ticks that make me crazy and we bicker and argue often. We have had huge-knock-down-drag-out-life-altering conflicts, and we have had tiny little annoying bickers.
HOWEVER-I love our little bickering, I hate his habits, but would hate it more if they weren't around to drive me crazy. I miss him when he is gone. He understands my emotions and the way I think. He respects and supports my decisions and finds ways to make me happy when I am not feeling so well. He is encouraging and comforting.
When we moved to Kingman I went through a great depression; not the down-economic-kind of great depression, the kind you go through when you remove yourself from best friends and close family and familiarity and move across the country to no friends, little family and unfamiliar people and places. I went to work, drove home, and went to bed. That was my life. I gained weight, became unmotivated and lazy and an all around miserable person. He held me when I cried, he lied with me when I wouldn't leave my bed and most importantly he told me to snap out of it and live life or stop whining! :)
He has been supportive of me during my nine years of college education, he has put up with my anxiety, he has encouraged me to go out and live and be happy.
He loves me with my physical and emotional flaws. He chose to stick by me through rough times when life wasn't easy and decisions were effecting our lives in different ways. He has sacrificed for me-and I get overwhelmed sometimes, because I don't know how to react.
I am thankful to have him and can't imagine my life without him. I just hope he is as happy with me as I am with him. I love him completely. When everyone else is gone-I have him.
I hope that everyone finds that kind of love and holds it tight, because I couldn't imagine what I would do if it got away.
Monday, May 2, 2011
politics-ugh.
Warning: Political Rant-not meant to offend
political rants lead to arguments and disrespect-I mean none. Truly.
I shouldn't be shocked, I mean American civilians don't have the best reputation for being intelligent. We over indulge ourselves into diseases, supersize, lie, cheat and eat up every fear tactic we see on fox news. I feel most Americans would believe an Afghani is a crocheted blanket from their grandmother. Sad. We typically believe whatever we are told by our news station of choice without truly researching any information.
It is NO secret I was never a George W. Bush supporter. The man ran several companies into the ground in a drunken stupor and hid behind the political successes of his father and brother. He created big stories based on maybes and scared a country into panic mode and into war. The war in Iraq is/was not the same as the war on terror (Afghanistan). They are two separate entities-fact. He somehow blended them into one being and bamboozled Americans into believing false claims of weapons of mass destruction. He flew a banner during his run for re-election stating "mission accomplished" when nothing was getting accomplished, other than oil prices rising and war erupting. He had infromation on the 9/11 attacks before they happened which had been handed to him by Clinton's admin. He did nothing-I wonder if it is because he honestly couldn't read it, but then again he had people to read it to him, so why did nothing come of this information. He was sloppy, careless, and reckless. A shameful president that gave us the Patriot Act. Wow-if you wanted to be a joke to all nations of the world and history books-"mission accomplished".
I am also no supporter of Obama (I did vote for him, but he was not my primary choice). I think Obama is quick to cave and back down when it comes to legislation in hopes to be 'bi-partisan' and it is unsuccessful and just pisses both parties off. I don't blame him for soaring oil prices. I blame riots in Egypt and the former admin for handing him a big mess. I don't think he has done much for education, which I was hoping he would, but like I said-I'm not a big fan. I do think he is highly educated and is learning every step of the way.
Bin Laden: really...? This is where I get really disappointed in Americans for being stubborn simply because they don't like Obama. Yes, we all realize Obama didn't kill Bin Laden, he did however use incredibly accurate military intel organized within the last few years (of which he was in office, not Bush) to sit down with officials and make educated and careful decisions based on intelligence from our amazing troops and CIA. He actively pursued this intel to be sure it was accurate so that no one would be senselessly killed in combat gone bad. He was careful and thorough and it paid off. He, as commander in chief, gave the order based on strong military intelligence to go in and sweep out Bin Laden. It was succesful. I still don't care for Obama-I respect him more, but still not my first choice in the democratic primary. I will not, however, take anything away from him. He did take down Bin Laden by listening to educated professionals in their fields and analyzing intel. A president's job is to do this, not to go out guns blazing. Obviously he didn't actually pull the trigger, but this was his success and he should own it. Well done Sir. "Mission Accomplished." He shares this success with his employees, his admin and the US military services. Just as a CEO shares his success in business with the employees that help with the leg work and perform the actions handed down to them by the head of the company and his intelligence staff. Blame, blame, blame, but no credit for the good. Typical. Stubborn and typical.
Unfortunately, there is another hate monger waiting to rise up and take Bin Laden's place. Alqaeda is a network of terrorism, not one man. Our troops will remain in place and continue working hard to gather more intel and take the network down piece by piece. Thank you to them for this sacrifice.
political rants lead to arguments and disrespect-I mean none. Truly.
I shouldn't be shocked, I mean American civilians don't have the best reputation for being intelligent. We over indulge ourselves into diseases, supersize, lie, cheat and eat up every fear tactic we see on fox news. I feel most Americans would believe an Afghani is a crocheted blanket from their grandmother. Sad. We typically believe whatever we are told by our news station of choice without truly researching any information.
It is NO secret I was never a George W. Bush supporter. The man ran several companies into the ground in a drunken stupor and hid behind the political successes of his father and brother. He created big stories based on maybes and scared a country into panic mode and into war. The war in Iraq is/was not the same as the war on terror (Afghanistan). They are two separate entities-fact. He somehow blended them into one being and bamboozled Americans into believing false claims of weapons of mass destruction. He flew a banner during his run for re-election stating "mission accomplished" when nothing was getting accomplished, other than oil prices rising and war erupting. He had infromation on the 9/11 attacks before they happened which had been handed to him by Clinton's admin. He did nothing-I wonder if it is because he honestly couldn't read it, but then again he had people to read it to him, so why did nothing come of this information. He was sloppy, careless, and reckless. A shameful president that gave us the Patriot Act. Wow-if you wanted to be a joke to all nations of the world and history books-"mission accomplished".
I am also no supporter of Obama (I did vote for him, but he was not my primary choice). I think Obama is quick to cave and back down when it comes to legislation in hopes to be 'bi-partisan' and it is unsuccessful and just pisses both parties off. I don't blame him for soaring oil prices. I blame riots in Egypt and the former admin for handing him a big mess. I don't think he has done much for education, which I was hoping he would, but like I said-I'm not a big fan. I do think he is highly educated and is learning every step of the way.
Bin Laden: really...? This is where I get really disappointed in Americans for being stubborn simply because they don't like Obama. Yes, we all realize Obama didn't kill Bin Laden, he did however use incredibly accurate military intel organized within the last few years (of which he was in office, not Bush) to sit down with officials and make educated and careful decisions based on intelligence from our amazing troops and CIA. He actively pursued this intel to be sure it was accurate so that no one would be senselessly killed in combat gone bad. He was careful and thorough and it paid off. He, as commander in chief, gave the order based on strong military intelligence to go in and sweep out Bin Laden. It was succesful. I still don't care for Obama-I respect him more, but still not my first choice in the democratic primary. I will not, however, take anything away from him. He did take down Bin Laden by listening to educated professionals in their fields and analyzing intel. A president's job is to do this, not to go out guns blazing. Obviously he didn't actually pull the trigger, but this was his success and he should own it. Well done Sir. "Mission Accomplished." He shares this success with his employees, his admin and the US military services. Just as a CEO shares his success in business with the employees that help with the leg work and perform the actions handed down to them by the head of the company and his intelligence staff. Blame, blame, blame, but no credit for the good. Typical. Stubborn and typical.
Unfortunately, there is another hate monger waiting to rise up and take Bin Laden's place. Alqaeda is a network of terrorism, not one man. Our troops will remain in place and continue working hard to gather more intel and take the network down piece by piece. Thank you to them for this sacrifice.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
family is thicker than blood
Family isn't just the relationships we are born into by blood; it is so much more. It consists of some blood relationships, but if you are lucky, it consists of the best friends and 'extended family' one could ask for.
Family means caring for one another, helping each other, unconditional love, being supportive and protective.
What family is not: Family is not degrading, conditional, judgemental or distant (in the figurative sense).
What family does: Family supports each other through words and actions. Family responds to needs. Family stays in touch on an emotional level when they are distant physically and does not let the passing of time or a busy schedule divert its path. Family sticks together, but is not afraid to tell you when you are wrong.
Blood is thicker than water, but FAMILY is much thicker than blood.
Family means caring for one another, helping each other, unconditional love, being supportive and protective.
What family is not: Family is not degrading, conditional, judgemental or distant (in the figurative sense).
What family does: Family supports each other through words and actions. Family responds to needs. Family stays in touch on an emotional level when they are distant physically and does not let the passing of time or a busy schedule divert its path. Family sticks together, but is not afraid to tell you when you are wrong.
Blood is thicker than water, but FAMILY is much thicker than blood.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
accountability is a bitch
We build our own destiny. We choose our path-it is not predetermined it is our conscious choice every step of the way.
Being an adult means making choices and holding yourself accountable for them. Sometimes, I hate accountability; sometimes I hate adulthood. lol.
Sometimes we make these choices without all the facts or with misinformation. In those cases our choices often come back to bite us in the ass, but ultimately it was still OUR choice. I knew becoming a teacher would put me into a never ending debt of student loans. I knew that after working full time and attending part time for 9 years upon graduation I could end up without a job, or as is my current situation, in a job making very little. I still struggled through it and finished with highest honors and make little money, but I love my job. It was a decision I made and it was worth every struggle. I made this decision with the knowledge that I will work weekends and 10-12 hour days and not be compensated for them. I made this decision knowing that I would disagree with many of the politics associated with working in education. I made this decision knowing that children need someone that cares more about their benefit than their paycheck. It was my decision. I still bitch about my low pay and lack of appreciation, but I will never act surprised-I knew the facts and I chose this. This leads me to our decrease next year. They are raising the cost of benefits and dropping my current plan so I will now be forced to pay more and have less coverage. The state of AZ has also raised state retirement. I will make around $100 less per month next year. I will be upset and bitch, but once again-not surprised. It's unfair, but it was part of my choice to work here and be a teacher.I will again reiterate my previous home experience for the purpose of the point I am making about choices. I have blogged about this numerous times so bear with me.
I made the decision (with Jeff) to buy a home. When we made this decision we knew that Jeff would have to work two jobs to support us with our new mortgage. What I didn't know is that our home loan was not fixed and that it would balloon and our mortgage company would tell us to screw off. I assumed we could refinance our home before the balloon payments took effect. It was still my choice to buy the home and make the sacrifices to afford it. When things went south with our home and we stopped paying our mortgage I still made a choice. I chose to stop paying and, though it was EXTREMELY difficult, I chose to resign my position as a KUSD employee to finish my student teaching and get my degree knowing once that happened I would not be able to afford my ballooning payment and that we would face the high possibility of loosing our home. Part of this was a little bad luck, most of it was a choice I made with my husband. Knowing this didn't make it any easier. I was jobless (for 8 months), Jeff was no longer working two jobs and we were living off of his income-not much. Every modification that was denied was another knife in my heart. Every payment not made hurt my pride. I started to have anxiety attacks and depression. We tried like hell t figure it all out and fill out the proper paperwork. We were decieved by modification companies and mortgage lender promises. I was hateful and jealous and hurt, but it still stems back to my choice to originally purchase a home in a downward economy and know my home would decrease in value. It also stems from my choice to choose education over home. Lucky for us, our modification came through after a year of heartache on the very day we were going to sign a lease for a rental.
My choice to finish my education had finally paid off when I was offered the job with the school district. While this same choice caused struggle and hardship it ended up being the best choice. I had a recent medical issue that I didn't understand (I abstractly and briefly blogged about this last time)-I am fine. Sometimes things do happen by total chance. I choose not to share the details, but I am thankful. Sometimes things happen from just random bad luck-this is not most cases. Most things lead back on a trail of personal choices. As much as I don't want to see it that way at times, I know in my heart it is true. As the saying goes, 'life's not fair' -the biggest truth ever told. I have come to understand that when I am suffering through something, there is always someone else that has it worse. I have also come to understand that my relationships with family and friends that I have worked to gain and maintain over the years are a great support system. When it comes to our personal lives and choices some of us advertise and some of us privatize. Everyone copes differently. Everyone makes different choices-choices that they think are best for them at the time. college-choice career field-choice buy or rent-choice marriage and the work that comes with it-choicechildren and the work that comes with them-choice
choices that either independently or blended together have a large effect on our lives and the path we walk.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
life, love and the pursuit of friendship
Life is a very interesting and complex situation. You go through life and make choices that have minor/major effects on everything around you. Some people make more wrong choices than right. I feel like I have made more right choices than wrong and have done my very best to live a responsible and steady life thus far. I am happy in my marriage, my job and my relationships with the people around me from day to day. Sometimes, it doesn't matter if you have made the right choices, the hard choices, or the best choices. Sometimes life decides to rough you up anyway; to scare you and humilate you in some form private or public.
I decided awhile ago to make a more active approach to living my life in a positive way. After going through the troublesome ordeal with our home modification and then being unemployed after graduation and living off of one income (by the way county employee does not mean good wages) I decided things can't get worse, unless I let them. Things started to fall into place; my home modification came through at the last moment after a year of heartache, I was offered a job that I love, I have experienced success in my career and have developed a more healthy and active lifestyle and along with it more social relationships. With all this positivity now being returned, you would think my life would be without major bumps. You would think wrong. While I won't go into my personal life details (I'd rather keep them private), I can assure you I am fine and will get through my situation with support from my husband. Sometimes I just don't understand the lesson I am supposed to learn by the curve balls of life. That makes it hard to accept when these curve balls smack me in the face!
Oh yeah, and if one more person tries to tell me, "oh it's God's plan and he is trying to help you. It will all work out." I will punch them. Just saying....first off it's presumptious to assume everyne believes what you do. Knock it off-it is a generic offering of comfort and I don't need generic anything. Sorry if that was considered offensive.
On another note-
With everyone blogging about relationships lately I was also inspired to do so. :)
I have had the same close relationships throughout most of my life.
me and Faith having martinis
Firstly, Faith Ann (yes Ann damn it) My rock and my biggest comfort in a friend and 'sister.' She has never judged me and always supported me and we have been friends for around 15 years and known each other for over 20 years. With only one 'fall out' fight on record due to my stubborness and her passiveness there is no one I feel closer to in this life-other than my husband, but in two different ways. I look up to her strength, security, intelligence and inner and outer beauty (the girl is gorgeous!). She is a phenomenal woman, mother, model and friend. I am so thankful to have her in my life. Where I have lost touch with many, she is one I never will. I just know I will be having wine and laughing with her when we are elderly ladies. This is something I take comfort in-always. It is hard having her on the other side of the country-I do enjoy all of the pictures and videos of her little one and it makes me thankful for technology.
Me and Jeff in Toronto
My husband. We have been together almost ten years and married for almost five. It has NEVER been easy-especially the early days. At this point in our relationship we are solid as a rock. I love him and know he supports me and loves me to full capacity! He makes me laugh and truly gets me. He understands what makes me tick and puts up with my crazy mood swings and emotions. I have so much fun with him and I will contintue to do so for the rest of our lives. He tries to comfort me and support me in all of my endeavors. He talks me down when I want to jump or he jumps with me and flies. He is compassionate and receptive and deserves an award. We have no secrets and support each other when things get rough.
My dog-I know people think that is weird, but it is a fact that having a bond with your dog can improve health. Unconditional love is such a powerful thing. 
Brother and I with a tiny Anthony
My brother-though we do not agree on everything I know he cares about me and tries to understand me. We have had many memories growing up together. He is supportive and listens to my rants. Sometimes we have major disagreements about issues, but we can always over look these-eventually. :) I am so happy that he has not let distance ruin the close bond Jeff and I have with my nephew Anthony. He practically lived with us for over two years and it is so hard to believe he is 6 years old! I am also thankful that he finally found a woman that is worth a damn and that we get two more additions to the family along with her. Her and her children are now a part of this family and I am thankful for all of them. Mostly that I get to see them a few times year and they often call to chat, send videos or webcam.
Melissa (my sister-in-law) and I at the winery in Ohio
My brother-in-law Tim, me, and Jeff on my wedding day
My brother and sister in-law and their two boys as well. I can't believe how big they are-time passes very quickly and we wish we could get more chances to see them and talk, but life (yes that tricky life thing again) is sometimes just too busy. Time passes and with time changes occur.
Mom and I in the canyon
Dad and I with Blu dog ready for the game
My parents-supportive to a HUGE degree! I can't put it any other way. I love them and the opportunities they worked their tails off to provide for me. I truly don't know what I would ever do without them. I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE daddy's girl and love spending time with my dad. Whether it is grocery shopping, having coffee or watching football-I enjoy it all. My mom has taught me to be strong and to work hard to overcome challenges. She taught me to not back down to anyone when feeling threatened. She has taught me strength and will. She has taught me work ethic and how important it is to be myself-no matter what.
My friends and aquantainces I have met since living in the Kingman area-thanks for accepting me and taking time to give me a chance. Due to my slight lack of confidence, I am not comfortable in new friendships and social settings so I appreciate that I was able to make bonds here that aren't always perfect, but that work and without them I would go crazy. I have met people here that have big hearts and spirits and accept me and my odd qualities. :) Some of these friends are still here and some have moved back to where their roots are-all of them I am thankful for!
Relationships change over years. Friends and even family relationships are altered over time and cannot be maintained without work from both sides. I have learned that this is a part of life. I have also learned that all relationships are not the same and that is OK-they have different functions and purposes. Some blossom into more and other wither into less and some maintain their neutrality.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
uhm, nevermind
Alright, here it goes. A synopsis of our San Fran trip.
You know what-I just don't feel like it. Maybe later.
You know what-I just don't feel like it. Maybe later.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
environmentally religious and gay
Not sure what sparked this, but it was sparked so here it is. Once again not proofread.
Often times people ask me, "why are you a vegetarian?" Well, here it is.
Once upon a time a 13 year old girl had a few environmentally conscience friends.
As you may know, I was a very angsty teen and tried my hand at any non conformist actions available to me in my little world. Once I began researching how the animals are slaughtered and processed for sale, I decided it just wasn't an acceptable practice. I will spare you the details, they are available through numerous radical agencies if you are interested, just search. I knew my love and compassion for animals ran deeper than that of my domesticated friends. Then to learn that the meat packing industry is not only cruel and unusual, but the products they output are incredibly unfit to consume and the industry itself is a huge detriment to our atmosphere and o-zone, I decided to pass. I don't wear animal products, I don't eat them. I also don't tell others what to do with their bodies and lives. I accept that not everyone feels this way. I married a non-vegetarian and i love him. He does sacrifice how much meat he eats due to me being the main dinner cook. I appreciate that he is understanding of me, and does not try to change my beliefs, so I show him the same courtesy.
This mutual understanding and love for each other's belief systems brings me to this:
If everyone would understand that we are not all the same and that we are a diverse culture and society, we may not have so many problems. We as people tend to get so hung up on what people around us are doing or not doing. Before you judge someone for their personal morals, take a long look in the mirror and examine yourself. You may think someone's religion is an abomination and silly, but think of it as an outsider. How does your religion look to them? If we aren't killing or hurting each other because of our beliefs than is it really worth stirring up problems by telling someone what they believe is wrong and they should save themselves? If a churchlike institution works for you, it doesn't mean it works for everyone. The same goes both ways. For my athiests and agnostics-if you choose to not have a firm foundation in the existence of higher dieties, that is your choice. I don't think my pagan, christian, muslim, etc. people are crazy for believing there is. Leave them to their faith. The same principles go for sexuality and sexual preference. The way people act towards gay couples is like they feel they are trash hoarding bubonic plague victims. It is utterly disgusting. I know people that say they are not against gay and lesbian people, but they always have negative comments about them. I will be against gay unions when I learn that everytime a gay union happens, a natural disaster wipes out a village or a random person has a tragic accident. Seriously, these people believe in the true concept of love without boundaries-take notes. If we could all love our partners in life without boundaries, what amazing marriages we would have!
I just get so disappointed when I read about how hateful people are.
When I was growing up neighbors were saviors. My neighbors took note of our familily's misfortunes and made a gesture of support. My father had been laid off, locked out, and on strike with the steel union. I will never forget the way my neighbors pulled together to help us. I look around my neighborhood now and think, who are these people? I don't know, I don't care and it is truly sad. When I was living back east, this didn't happen. I grew up outside of the city and we took care of each other. When I moved out and moved into the city limits, I still saw how people took care of each other. When I moved here I noticed a change. I bought my house and the only one to come over and say hello, was a 70 something german woman down the street. Out in my parents community people still have that great neighborly outlook, but they are older. Is it a generational gap? I will be the first to say that I don't like neighbors, but this was not the case until we bought our house here in AZ. Well, there was one neighbor in our Youngstown, Ohio apt. that I hated too, but he broke in and stole my stuff.
Seriously, lets just agree to disagree, clean up after ourselves in life, and learn to be compassionate and accept the differences of our fellow humans.
Often times people ask me, "why are you a vegetarian?" Well, here it is.
Once upon a time a 13 year old girl had a few environmentally conscience friends.
As you may know, I was a very angsty teen and tried my hand at any non conformist actions available to me in my little world. Once I began researching how the animals are slaughtered and processed for sale, I decided it just wasn't an acceptable practice. I will spare you the details, they are available through numerous radical agencies if you are interested, just search. I knew my love and compassion for animals ran deeper than that of my domesticated friends. Then to learn that the meat packing industry is not only cruel and unusual, but the products they output are incredibly unfit to consume and the industry itself is a huge detriment to our atmosphere and o-zone, I decided to pass. I don't wear animal products, I don't eat them. I also don't tell others what to do with their bodies and lives. I accept that not everyone feels this way. I married a non-vegetarian and i love him. He does sacrifice how much meat he eats due to me being the main dinner cook. I appreciate that he is understanding of me, and does not try to change my beliefs, so I show him the same courtesy.
This mutual understanding and love for each other's belief systems brings me to this:
If everyone would understand that we are not all the same and that we are a diverse culture and society, we may not have so many problems. We as people tend to get so hung up on what people around us are doing or not doing. Before you judge someone for their personal morals, take a long look in the mirror and examine yourself. You may think someone's religion is an abomination and silly, but think of it as an outsider. How does your religion look to them? If we aren't killing or hurting each other because of our beliefs than is it really worth stirring up problems by telling someone what they believe is wrong and they should save themselves? If a churchlike institution works for you, it doesn't mean it works for everyone. The same goes both ways. For my athiests and agnostics-if you choose to not have a firm foundation in the existence of higher dieties, that is your choice. I don't think my pagan, christian, muslim, etc. people are crazy for believing there is. Leave them to their faith. The same principles go for sexuality and sexual preference. The way people act towards gay couples is like they feel they are trash hoarding bubonic plague victims. It is utterly disgusting. I know people that say they are not against gay and lesbian people, but they always have negative comments about them. I will be against gay unions when I learn that everytime a gay union happens, a natural disaster wipes out a village or a random person has a tragic accident. Seriously, these people believe in the true concept of love without boundaries-take notes. If we could all love our partners in life without boundaries, what amazing marriages we would have!
I just get so disappointed when I read about how hateful people are.
When I was growing up neighbors were saviors. My neighbors took note of our familily's misfortunes and made a gesture of support. My father had been laid off, locked out, and on strike with the steel union. I will never forget the way my neighbors pulled together to help us. I look around my neighborhood now and think, who are these people? I don't know, I don't care and it is truly sad. When I was living back east, this didn't happen. I grew up outside of the city and we took care of each other. When I moved out and moved into the city limits, I still saw how people took care of each other. When I moved here I noticed a change. I bought my house and the only one to come over and say hello, was a 70 something german woman down the street. Out in my parents community people still have that great neighborly outlook, but they are older. Is it a generational gap? I will be the first to say that I don't like neighbors, but this was not the case until we bought our house here in AZ. Well, there was one neighbor in our Youngstown, Ohio apt. that I hated too, but he broke in and stole my stuff.
Seriously, lets just agree to disagree, clean up after ourselves in life, and learn to be compassionate and accept the differences of our fellow humans.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
No seriously, I do love my job. Really, I do.
apologizing in advance for typos-I hate proofreading. Before proceding on this blog post please note that I place no blame of the stresses associated with my job on any particular person or dept. It is the way it is-and we all have to deal with what is handed to us. I love the people I work with and work for and am thankful for those co-workers, classified and certified, that make my school a great place to work.
Just want to give some people a perspective on what it is to be a teacher.
Today was mostly good. The kids were decently behaved today, I had a pretty pleasant work day and a great time at zumba tonight. However, my stack of papers is growing and I hate grading so I avoid it like the plague. I have an entire weeks worth of papers to grade still. It is sad that I still have my last week's reading and spelling tests only half graded and we are taking this week's tests tomorrow. UGH!
I recently was asked by more than one person, "What do you do that you stay so late all the time?"
This job, for those that don't understand, is very demanding. We have a list of people to please on a daily basis that includes, but is not limited to; apprx. 28 students, their parents, their step parents or alternative families, our co-workers, our administration, academic services dept., speech dept proffessionals, reading coaches, district office reps...the list goes on. We are pulled every which way and expected to achieve high scores and work over time every week with out any pay. Then we have observers several times weekly taking notes on our procedures and management skills as well as the way we teach our content. We have to supply our own tools for our jobs which includes, file folders, manipulatives for math and lang arts, copy paper (occasionally), and numerous other odds and ends things that should be supplied for us! We share our kids with multiple departments and they spend half of their time in multiple classrooms with multiple people and when they do well we share the credit, but when they do poorly we take the burden on ourselves and it could cost us our jobs that we don't get paid much to do anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but it gets trying dealing with the 'politics' of it all. We are constantly asked our opinions on matters that have already been decided upon mostly by people that have not been in a classroom in years or ever. We are told we have to have uninterrrupted amounts of lang arts time and then they pull random kids out for other services. They also tell us to push math now, and want to use our alotted 'uninterrupted' reading time for it...AAAHHHHHH make up your minds! Then we have papers to grade, lessons to plan, units to theme and just when we do it in the requested format-they change it. We are given programs and not trained on them. We are told to not teach to the test, but are looking at performance pay. We have weekends off-except that we don't. Oh, and summers-forget it! We stay at work to clean up our classrooms for a week after and go back to set them up several weeks early.
In short-teachers f'ing rock! Find one, hug them (or not, I am not a fan of close proximity with strangers) and thank them for their dedication. Then slip them a twenty-trust me, they need it.
Just want to give some people a perspective on what it is to be a teacher.
Today was mostly good. The kids were decently behaved today, I had a pretty pleasant work day and a great time at zumba tonight. However, my stack of papers is growing and I hate grading so I avoid it like the plague. I have an entire weeks worth of papers to grade still. It is sad that I still have my last week's reading and spelling tests only half graded and we are taking this week's tests tomorrow. UGH!
I recently was asked by more than one person, "What do you do that you stay so late all the time?"
This job, for those that don't understand, is very demanding. We have a list of people to please on a daily basis that includes, but is not limited to; apprx. 28 students, their parents, their step parents or alternative families, our co-workers, our administration, academic services dept., speech dept proffessionals, reading coaches, district office reps...the list goes on. We are pulled every which way and expected to achieve high scores and work over time every week with out any pay. Then we have observers several times weekly taking notes on our procedures and management skills as well as the way we teach our content. We have to supply our own tools for our jobs which includes, file folders, manipulatives for math and lang arts, copy paper (occasionally), and numerous other odds and ends things that should be supplied for us! We share our kids with multiple departments and they spend half of their time in multiple classrooms with multiple people and when they do well we share the credit, but when they do poorly we take the burden on ourselves and it could cost us our jobs that we don't get paid much to do anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do, but it gets trying dealing with the 'politics' of it all. We are constantly asked our opinions on matters that have already been decided upon mostly by people that have not been in a classroom in years or ever. We are told we have to have uninterrrupted amounts of lang arts time and then they pull random kids out for other services. They also tell us to push math now, and want to use our alotted 'uninterrupted' reading time for it...AAAHHHHHH make up your minds! Then we have papers to grade, lessons to plan, units to theme and just when we do it in the requested format-they change it. We are given programs and not trained on them. We are told to not teach to the test, but are looking at performance pay. We have weekends off-except that we don't. Oh, and summers-forget it! We stay at work to clean up our classrooms for a week after and go back to set them up several weeks early.
In short-teachers f'ing rock! Find one, hug them (or not, I am not a fan of close proximity with strangers) and thank them for their dedication. Then slip them a twenty-trust me, they need it.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
nothing in particular
I enjoy having these three day weekends, but it is much harder to face work when I come back. I have enjoyed my weekend thus far, even though it has not been very busy or social. I do enjoy hanging out with Jeff though. I have caught up on laundry and light cleaning and both the Penguins and the Steelers kicked ass on Saturday. City of champions again...? YES! :) My Dad came over to watch the game which was really nice.
I spent most of today watching movies and checking out hotels for our trip to San Francisco in February. I hate making decisions and every hotel I check I over think all of the reviews and pricing. I love planning things, but I hate making final decisions. I am very excited to meet up with our Ohian firends when we get there. I have decided I really need to see some old and good friends lately. Then after our trip we are hoping to see more friends in March. Faith, Kyle and baby Elyse are possibly traveling out to see us then. I have my fingers crossed and my hopes high for that!
Let me start this part by saying, I love my job and the people I work with on a daily basis. They are helpful, reaasuring and kind. I have one of the most rewarding jobs there is, not monetarily, but emotionally. If it wasn't for this job I don't think I would make it in this town much longer. Jeff seems confident that he can get a job anywhere in the world, but I prefer a solid job with good benefits not just any job. When stable and decent jobs become available else where and this market begins an upward shift I see us seriously getting out of here. I don't know if I can start over again somewhere else, but I truly don't want to be here forever. The road ahead is uncertain and I hate uncertainty and change. However, sometimes I need it regardless of how much I protest. We have a few years left here at least, so it isn't a huge choice as of now, but I still find myself thinking about it.
I spent most of today watching movies and checking out hotels for our trip to San Francisco in February. I hate making decisions and every hotel I check I over think all of the reviews and pricing. I love planning things, but I hate making final decisions. I am very excited to meet up with our Ohian firends when we get there. I have decided I really need to see some old and good friends lately. Then after our trip we are hoping to see more friends in March. Faith, Kyle and baby Elyse are possibly traveling out to see us then. I have my fingers crossed and my hopes high for that!
Let me start this part by saying, I love my job and the people I work with on a daily basis. They are helpful, reaasuring and kind. I have one of the most rewarding jobs there is, not monetarily, but emotionally. If it wasn't for this job I don't think I would make it in this town much longer. Jeff seems confident that he can get a job anywhere in the world, but I prefer a solid job with good benefits not just any job. When stable and decent jobs become available else where and this market begins an upward shift I see us seriously getting out of here. I don't know if I can start over again somewhere else, but I truly don't want to be here forever. The road ahead is uncertain and I hate uncertainty and change. However, sometimes I need it regardless of how much I protest. We have a few years left here at least, so it isn't a huge choice as of now, but I still find myself thinking about it.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Guess who's back? :)
Well, work has consumed me. I hate not being home, but I take so much pride in my classroom and in my job that most of the time I don't mind. I do mind not being around to see my husband more and make dinner. I also mind the fact that while my husband does clean up most times, the house needs more thorough cleanings and scrubs and it seldom gets them with both of us working etc. I have been cutting back my after school hours and making myself come home earlier (between 4-5) However, this has caused me to get a little behind on grading papers. I will go in Sunday morning to play catch up with my grade book and then hopefully I will be back on track! I was actually able to make a few meals-spicy mexican soup and chili rellano casserole. Both were delicious!
My class has been very exhausting lately. They have regressed big time! For the past week and a half it has been hell. My expectations are high, but they always have been. I have tried a few new strategies to shock their system, and today it finally seems to be slowly sinking in. Hoping by the end of next week things can be back to normal in the class again-just in time for holiday breaks.
My morning workouts have stopped and I have started gaining back some of the weight I had lost. 4am is just too much. Some days I just physically cannot get my head up. I did recently join the wellness center here and it is a great facility with great programs etc. So I am now paying for a membership which means I will force myself to use it!
We spent the past weekend in the Phoenix area and were able to take the dog with us to the hotel! It was such a great time! We went and saw the Penguins play the Coyotes and the game went into OT and a shootout! Pens won-which made it even better, of course. :)
My mortgage issues were mostly settled a few months back-now they are officially settled. No more 80/20 loan! A reduced principal and payment have finally been permanantly agreed upon and officially finalized! So I guess we will be here in Kingman awhile longer. At least we both have jobs here and more family is moving this way. It is still hard being far away from all of the people back 'home'. Now a good friend of mine is moving back to MI so I will have another friend in a far away land. :) I guess the upside is a new place to visit! I will be super sad to see her go, but very happy for her to be closer to her family and friends in MI. She has made a lasting and positive impact on me and it is great to have her as a friend, even if she is leaving me! As she would say, "RUDE!" haha-at least Jeff can visit Jake on his island. ;)
Thanksgiving is upon us. I know that the holidays are coming, because as I type this I am watching the movie Elf with Jeff. He starts watching this movie around this time of year every year and watches it at least 40 times before the new year comes around. I think between the two of us we can quote every single line in the film.
We have done Thanksgiving at our house since we moved here and bought our house, but this year it seems no one will be around to come over. It kinda sucks, since Thanksgiving is the hardest holiday for me to be away. I don't do Christmas, so my big family and friend holiday is Thanksgiving. I love fall-Halloween and Thanksgiving are my favorites! I love to cook fall foods and entertain and feed people. I miss the little traditions with friends and the big day at the brother and sister in laws with the family around and the kids.
Speaking of kids running around...
I still think often about my selfishness. My not wanting children and my husband wanting them makes me feel like the world's worst wife. I hope that it all works out in that area. :sigh:
I am looking forward to my brother's yearly holiday visit with Jess and the boys. They come visit every year and it is always so nice. Although their timing is a little off for us this year since we will not have much time off with them. They are coming before christmas this year instead of after, so it cuts my time short with them due to work. I will take what I can get though!
Well that about does it-maybe it won't take me so long to blog this time. :) Ah, life.
My class has been very exhausting lately. They have regressed big time! For the past week and a half it has been hell. My expectations are high, but they always have been. I have tried a few new strategies to shock their system, and today it finally seems to be slowly sinking in. Hoping by the end of next week things can be back to normal in the class again-just in time for holiday breaks.
My morning workouts have stopped and I have started gaining back some of the weight I had lost. 4am is just too much. Some days I just physically cannot get my head up. I did recently join the wellness center here and it is a great facility with great programs etc. So I am now paying for a membership which means I will force myself to use it!
We spent the past weekend in the Phoenix area and were able to take the dog with us to the hotel! It was such a great time! We went and saw the Penguins play the Coyotes and the game went into OT and a shootout! Pens won-which made it even better, of course. :)
My mortgage issues were mostly settled a few months back-now they are officially settled. No more 80/20 loan! A reduced principal and payment have finally been permanantly agreed upon and officially finalized! So I guess we will be here in Kingman awhile longer. At least we both have jobs here and more family is moving this way. It is still hard being far away from all of the people back 'home'. Now a good friend of mine is moving back to MI so I will have another friend in a far away land. :) I guess the upside is a new place to visit! I will be super sad to see her go, but very happy for her to be closer to her family and friends in MI. She has made a lasting and positive impact on me and it is great to have her as a friend, even if she is leaving me! As she would say, "RUDE!" haha-at least Jeff can visit Jake on his island. ;)
Thanksgiving is upon us. I know that the holidays are coming, because as I type this I am watching the movie Elf with Jeff. He starts watching this movie around this time of year every year and watches it at least 40 times before the new year comes around. I think between the two of us we can quote every single line in the film.
We have done Thanksgiving at our house since we moved here and bought our house, but this year it seems no one will be around to come over. It kinda sucks, since Thanksgiving is the hardest holiday for me to be away. I don't do Christmas, so my big family and friend holiday is Thanksgiving. I love fall-Halloween and Thanksgiving are my favorites! I love to cook fall foods and entertain and feed people. I miss the little traditions with friends and the big day at the brother and sister in laws with the family around and the kids.
Speaking of kids running around...
I still think often about my selfishness. My not wanting children and my husband wanting them makes me feel like the world's worst wife. I hope that it all works out in that area. :sigh:
I am looking forward to my brother's yearly holiday visit with Jess and the boys. They come visit every year and it is always so nice. Although their timing is a little off for us this year since we will not have much time off with them. They are coming before christmas this year instead of after, so it cuts my time short with them due to work. I will take what I can get though!
Well that about does it-maybe it won't take me so long to blog this time. :) Ah, life.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Well Amanda-here you go. :)
I had one reader, who shall remain nameless except that I put it in my title, that checks my blog frequently and was not happy with my lack of posting.
Well, things have been hectic to say the least.
I have been working in my classroom for the past four weeks trying to prepare for the first day of school. Stressing myself out to no end and trying to get my shit together. Spending money on my classroom and spending all of my time at the school has been stressful, but for the most part I was ready in time.
Meet the teacher night was Wednesday and I thought I might vomit on myself, however the vomiting didn't happen and I felt twelve times better once I didn't have time to think about being nervous with kids and parents parading in and out of my classroom chatting and asking questions. I have said it before and here it is again-I am so fortunate to be where I am with this job. I have had a ton of support at the school and from my friends, family and husband who has eaten nothing but hamburgers and hot dogs for a week straight. First off, the VP came down to the classroom and told me to come to his office and take as many books as I wanted for my classroom library. A parent donated some gently used books to the school and he thought of me and how I might need books for my personal collection to use with the kids. I felt so supported by this gesture and I appreciated it VERY MUCH! Second, my teacher friends, some of whom I teach with the others are from different schools, have offered me ideas and plans and help and words of wisdom. Then I have Amanda offering to cut my laminate! YAY! Not to mention her daughter that came in and begrudgingly put all of my books in the desks. What an awesome helper she was, even if she would rather have Mrs. Olli as a teacher than me. lol In this field support is needed from you peers and family and friends in order to be successful. You can't just be a good teacher and make it. You need support. At least I do.
The first day of school was fast! The kids came in and before I knew it they were leaving. Everyone went home on the right buses and that was that. I already know who my "difficult cases" will be and who will be my responsible ones. I am very nervous about starting my first full week of school and diving in to the curriculum head first. It should be interesting. Starting centers and reading chapters and math etc. I should be very busy for awhile. Thank goodness my husband understands this and doesn't mind eating mac-n-cheese for awhile. :) I wake up at 5:30 and do not get home until 5:00. I know this will eventually get better, but I feel like there is always so much that has to be done. I am constantly finding things that I could prep or organize. It will get better and easier, right?
I am finally a big girl with a big girl job and I don't know that I love it yet. I hate that I could possible face failure and that I am totally accountable for everything that takes place, or doesn't take place, in my classroom. I am anxious to see where my kids fall come testing time and who will be my high kids and my kids that need extra help. Hopefully all of my kids show progress. We shall see.
It has been a great summer; visiting family and friends back east, going to Canada, having parties here and going to and having cook outs with friends here in AZ, and family coming out to visit and spending time with them! Having Anthony is always great and then my brother came to stay with us as well and it was a blast. My cousin came out and we had a great time too. I am truly so fortunate to have had such an amazing turn of luck over the past few months. I have a good life; I can't complain. I do, but truly I shouldn't.
I think of how negative and depressed I was in high school and I just laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. I had a great upbringing and a great family. My friends have been few, but close and so supportive and important. There were times I staggered through darker places just to see what it was like. Odd what we do as teenagers when we are trying to find ourselves. I am so thankful for what I have. I can't believe I am an adult now and in my late twenties.
The children talk has come up again and sometimes I think maybe I would regret it, but I still don't think that children are for me. I just hope that Jeff doesn't regret it and feel hurt one day. I love him and do not want him to be resentful or sad later. He says he wi is fine with it, but I wonder sometimes.
Time to spend some time grocery shopping and cleaning, since I am never home during the week anymore to do it. I better get out my crock pot cookbook for Jeff so he doesn't have to have mac n cheese again. :)
Friday, July 16, 2010
looming shadows
I have come to terms with the fact I am not the nicest person a long, long time ago. This being said, "Hey you rude, pushy, selfish, attention whore-knock it off."
Wow that was liberating. At least I blogged it and didn't cause a situation, yay me! :)
Moving on.
I have been using this blog more lately which means one of two things: I feel the need to talk to myself more frequently or I am feeling down. I have a feeling it is a bit of both. You know I have nothing to feel down about lately, but when you battle that anxiety and darkness from adolescence it just seems to show up from time to time. So, I accept it. I don't like it, but I accept it.
Maybe it is surfacing, because I am missing 'home' (yes I just used the term 'home' to endear Youngstown, Ohio...crazy, eh?) or maybe it is my fear and anxiety about starting my real big girl job this year. I don't know, but it is hot and I'm moody and don't feel like dealing with your BS today people...outta my way! haha. No really. ;-)
I do get to spend some time with my nephew today, which is always good. We are going to go out to see him this evening for some late evening poolside fun. I don't ever have to worry about putting a bathing suit on in front of him, because he always thinks I look great! :) I love that kid.
I miss my Faith Ann (yes Ann, deal with it name changer!) We have been through so much together and I know through our arguements and disagreements (not that there is really too many of those) and life in general she is my rock and my foundation who has never judged me for being me. I could say the most ridiculous things, discuss personal issues and just be myself-good and bad-and she remains there, always. It is hard having her so far away.
OK I'm done-abruptly done.
Wow that was liberating. At least I blogged it and didn't cause a situation, yay me! :)
Moving on.
I have been using this blog more lately which means one of two things: I feel the need to talk to myself more frequently or I am feeling down. I have a feeling it is a bit of both. You know I have nothing to feel down about lately, but when you battle that anxiety and darkness from adolescence it just seems to show up from time to time. So, I accept it. I don't like it, but I accept it.
Maybe it is surfacing, because I am missing 'home' (yes I just used the term 'home' to endear Youngstown, Ohio...crazy, eh?) or maybe it is my fear and anxiety about starting my real big girl job this year. I don't know, but it is hot and I'm moody and don't feel like dealing with your BS today people...outta my way! haha. No really. ;-)
I do get to spend some time with my nephew today, which is always good. We are going to go out to see him this evening for some late evening poolside fun. I don't ever have to worry about putting a bathing suit on in front of him, because he always thinks I look great! :) I love that kid.
I miss my Faith Ann (yes Ann, deal with it name changer!) We have been through so much together and I know through our arguements and disagreements (not that there is really too many of those) and life in general she is my rock and my foundation who has never judged me for being me. I could say the most ridiculous things, discuss personal issues and just be myself-good and bad-and she remains there, always. It is hard having her so far away.
OK I'm done-abruptly done.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I have a ton of stuff.
Well, I cleaned off my desk today and found out that I just cannot bring myself to get rid of certain things. Even though it literally pains me and stresses me out to have stuff all over the place. I have a ton of kindergarten and preschool stuff that I just can't part with. I also have a ton of pictures and thank you cards from the preschool I taught at in Ohio that I can't bear to part with. I am moving some stuff into my classroom next week, but the amount of stuff just doesn't seem to ever get smaller. I had the urge to throw everything away today, but once I actually got it to the trash I had a change of heart with some of it. Some of this stuff, as I have referred to it, is being donated to the Head Start program that I briefly worked for out here. The other stuff, well it is being creatively arranged to fit in the closet and in boxes. We are not planning any children, yet we have no room for us in a three bedroom home?!?! All of our combined stuff equals a ton of creative hiding and fake organizing.
That being said...
I don't know if anyone knows someone who collects these items or not, but here it goes...
As a little girl I collected Cherished Teddies figurines. I loved them! I saved up to buy them and requested certain ones for holidays from family members. I cataloged them and looked up the retired figurines and what they were worth. It gave me a sense of innocence and responsibility. Now they sit, by the hundreds, in boxes in my garage. I looked at what they might sell for on the internet and of course they are not worth anything like I had once imagined they would be. It pains me to part with them, but I just think it would free up so much room and make my husband very happy to have them out of his garage space. I want them to go to a good home with a little girl that will love them as much as I did and still do. It is like giving away a piece of my childhood that was happy and sweet in one nice quaint little box; make that twenty nice quaint little boxes. I guess I may not be entirely OK with the idea of giving them away just yet, but I know I shouldn't hold onto such material things as an adult, especially since they take up a ton of room. Anyway, just a thought I'm toying with.
It has finally caught up with us...living on one income for the summer. We are finally at the point of, "uh-oh time to get creative with the bill paying" for the summer since I have not had a paycheck since the first week of June. I am glad that our mortgage situation is taken care of and my student loans are being deferred until the consolidation process is completed. I am nervous about starting the new school year and knowing that I will need to buy items for my classroom. Oh well, the life of the middle class, blue collar couple. I am lucky to have a job at all and knowing I will soon be receiving a paycheck again is comforting. I am super antsy about getting in my classroom and checking it all out and cannot wait until Monday when I am able to do so.
Just a stress reliever blog about my clutter. :)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
to kid or not to kid...? Still on my mind.
Although everyone is probably tired of hearing about this...I see more and more babies and pregnant people everywhere and since it has been the hot topic for me and Jeff I am still thinking about it. Mostly because of the guilt I feel.
Well Jeff and I have talked extensively about having children. I feel incredibly guilty for not wanting them when I thought that I wanted them before we were married. I feel like I am not allowed to change my mind so I need to justify every angle of why I do not want to have children. I know we would both make amazing parents, but I just don't feel it is what is right for me and my life. I know I shouldn't have to rationalize the reasons, but I do it all the time over and over again because of this guilt. Jeff is the victim in this decision, I will feel guilty for the rest of my life. I know he has told me he sometimes feels he wants them and sometimes does not, but I do not want him hating me ten years from now or carrying around misplaced anger. I am glad he is choosing to stay with me regardless of the child issue. I love him.
Well Jeff and I have talked extensively about having children. I feel incredibly guilty for not wanting them when I thought that I wanted them before we were married. I feel like I am not allowed to change my mind so I need to justify every angle of why I do not want to have children. I know we would both make amazing parents, but I just don't feel it is what is right for me and my life. I know I shouldn't have to rationalize the reasons, but I do it all the time over and over again because of this guilt. Jeff is the victim in this decision, I will feel guilty for the rest of my life. I know he has told me he sometimes feels he wants them and sometimes does not, but I do not want him hating me ten years from now or carrying around misplaced anger. I am glad he is choosing to stay with me regardless of the child issue. I love him.
I changed my mind. Yes, I did. Part of me thinks-I am totally allowed to change my mind whenever I want! The other part thinks-wow I'm a total jerk for changing my mind-how dare I?
What I do know for sure is that I absolutely hate it when people make the assumption that since I am a married adult of a certain age I am going to surely want children and be trying any time now. Don't assume it people. Also, don't tell me that I just have to have kids-I have to, because you just think it is what I am supposed to do. Well hey when you want to raise my child financially and be my live in nanny and permanent babysitter-oh yeah and birth it-then you can tell me I just have to have a baby. F-that. Mind your own business and stop telling me what I have to do. This is a matter between my husband and I. If he is accepting this than you need to as well.
I will spare my long list of cons in the child bearing/raising dept. However Like I have stated before:
I LOVE children-being around them, teaching them and being an active Aunt to my nephews and new little niece. I like being the one who does all the fun stuff and then gives them back.
I do want to take this moment to show great appreciation and recognition to the amazing mothers that are in my life, including my own. I have so many friends that are amazing mothers. They are all beautiful, strong, loving and compassionate women. You rock ladies!
Will I regret it one day-maybe, but for now I am not that interested in the idea. I can't predict the future. If I could predict the future I'd be a millionaire, but I still wouldn't have kids. I might consider adoption-maybe. Maybe. I said maybe people.
I'm just incredibly thankful that my husband hasn't left me over this change of heart. I couldn't imagine life without him, but I know he has always wanted children. Like I said he has played with the idea of not having them recently, but I still think he would in a heartbeat if I wanted them. I just don't want him to have regrets in the future...I can't predict the future. He is amazing and I am so lucky that he accepts me and all my faults.
I am a huge fan of having dogs instead...lots of dogs. Right now we cannot expand our doggie family due to Blu having a case of the Cujo, however our future consists of travel, friends and family, and dogs.
Children are for people who can't have dogs. I heard that somewhere and I liked it. I think I may get it on a sign and hang it on my door.
The second part of our vacation blog...
...
We were able to spend time with Tim, Melissa and the boys as well. It seems like far too much time passes in between visits, but we enjoy every minute of our time together. We were able to wacth one of Gavin's baseball games before heading over to the campgrounds. He did a GREAT job and it was so cool to see him play. I loved cheering him on in the stands. We were also able to see my sister in law's sister who is also like family for us and her two boys who have also grown so so much. When we arrived at the camp ground Gavin taught me how to drive a golf cart, in the dark none the less. A very brave boy to take on that task! Then I enjoyed some time on the swing set with Melissa and Brycen and Gavin...well I thought it would be enjoyable. The company was great, but the swinging gave me nausea. Not like I remember it as a kid. It was just good to spend time talking and joking around with the boys. I still can't believe how big they are! Later that evening at the camp Jeff decided to drink 22 beers in the course of two-three hours, so that became entertaining. He was just goofy all night-cracked us all up actually. The next day I had a minor set back in my mental stability after speaking with my mortgage company-things were sorted out from what I understand, but it was a very frustrating conversation. Anyway, when we said our goodbyes to the family we headed back to Faith and Kyle's house before our party in the park. We reserved a cabin in Millcreek Park and invited all of our friends and family around to come join us for our last night in Youngstown. The turn out was great and we enjoyed being able to see everyone one more time before heading out the next day. We were even able to see some people that we hadn't been able to see yet on our trip which is always nice. Jared and Courtney, Kevin and Lisa, Jarrod, and Kenny and Melissa were among a few that we hadn't been able to spend time with that were able to make it out. Then Jeff decided to wife swap me for Melissa B. haha-I don't think it would fair trade-she is much more laid back than I! I guess you had to be there for that one. Tim, Melissa and the boys even surprised us by skipping Gavin's game to come out and see us. It was really great to see all of those people under one roof.
We left there and journeyed back to Columbus Ohio where we promised to go with the boys (Kaleb, Anthony and Karter) to an indoor water park before we had to leave. It was a blast! I cannot stress enough how amazing it is to see family and friends and how much I enjoyed this trip. This blog is not as detailed as my first edition since I am posting it so late, but words cannot express how great everything was. I did really miss my dog though. :)
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