Random Notes of Thanks

Alright, so last night was interesting.

When you start a relationship, more so when you begin living together, you notice little quirks your "other" has. After awhile you modify your lives in compromise and learn to live with these quirks in peace. What happens when they begin developing new quirks somewhere in the middle of the relationship and you forget how to deal and the compromise only gets you so far? These quirks are disturbing my sleep time and I truly need my sleep time when and however I can get it. Just a thought really. I too have my annoying quirks. A random relationship thought.

I am thankful for my supportive and loving husband. Although we argue and bicker we truly do care about each other and I know, as does he, that we will support each other when we really need it.

I cannot believe we will have been married for almost four years and together for almost nine. Seriously, has anyone seen my youth? I am in my late twenties and for some reason am having a hard time remembering what life was like in the early ones. My best friend is having a baby...A BABY! It is so exciting and yet so hard to believe that we were beginning our friendship when were just young kiddos and now she is having a baby!

It is truly amazing to think about who you knew and what you thought you knew about life as a youth. Then you grow up, too quickly, and see who is still standing beside you and find out what you thought you knew was WAY off. I am so happy that I still have friends from years ago that are standing beside me and involved in my life. We are spread out across the country and I feel like when we see eachother no amount of time ever passed. These people saw me at my lowest, my highest and everything in between and know my faults, my beliefs and my history and still love me and care about me. For that I am incredibly thankful. Thank you.

Another random note: thanks goodness for supporting parents. They may drive you crazy and annoy you at times, but guess what they feel the same way about you. You drive them crazy and annoy them, but they will always care about you and love you and be there for you from the smallest to the largest moments in your life. I am thankful to have supportive parents when I know there are people that do not have this in their lives.

I am also thankful for my beliefs and my spirituality, even though it doesn't always shine through and I prefer to keep it quite private. I am always saying how I need to get back into the structure of it and really live it. I just feel comfort in knowing that I do not believe in a vindictive and judgemental God/Gods/Etc so I know that, while I don't approve of myself for this, they will support me as I them when needed and when not needed regardless of my time spent on prayer, meditation and ritual. I am thankful to have this kind of support in my faith.

I am also thankful for my new friends here in Arizona. While I truly am not as happy here as I could be else where in this world, I have finally found solace in friendships that have progressed and flourished here. Some people are just happy aquaintances and others real friends that I know have my back and I know I can vent to and call and go out and just enjoy their company. It took me awhile to adjust, but I think I have adjusted as much as I ever will to this area and am just thankful to have found people to help make that adjustment better.

Here I am world, again.

...a brief introduction and background...

Well I am back on the blogging scene; it's been awhile, but it is good to be back. I feel like sharing my life online with random strangers and friends and family is always a great way to say what is on your mind in a nonchalant semi-anonymous way and not have to deal with the judgement people tend to pass on you.

I know about judgement. I have been judged negatively and been the one who has judged. In both cases it was never a happy outcome.

So I decided to begin my blogging habit again by reading my good friend's blog. We were friends since I was-oh I don't know-thirteenish and through trials and time and travels have remained friends. She is inspiring and admirable and an amazing writer and person. Thinking of her takes me back to my teenage youth and that is when I decided upon the title for my blog; Rebel Yell. We were wild and crazy revolting youths protesting injustice and all that jazz. For those that know me-I know shocking right? ha-not so much. It also helps that I love Billy Idol and that song is one of my favorites.

I guess I can get started by saying: to those of you who know me from home, you already know most of my 'secrets' and my past and know where I stand now on subjects of controversy and the general daily way I live my life. For those of you that are new to me (semi-new anyway) you may be surprised, appalled, and find out some new things about my personal life you did not know. I only ask that you do not judge and keep an open mind and understand that my alternative beliefs and foundations have been judged many times before and I have always chosen my beliefs and personal convictions over any relationship and friendship. If you want to place judgement on me, start up the rumor mill around town and scratch me out, then do so, however I would like to think that you are all better than that. I guess some people will always surprise you though, so just covering my ass.

I once lived in a land called "Youngstown, Ohio" and while it is the home of murder, rape, drugs and other misc crimes and abandoned buildings, it was home. I guess it still is home. I miss the grey skies and old city structures. I miss Mill Creek Park and the streams, rose gardens and trails. I miss the flats where we used to have poetry readings with all of our many diverse friends. I miss that diverse blend of friends that sometimes scared my parents, but once they spoke, no matter what they looked like, every one knew they were caring and compassionate people. These were the people of my high school youth. I am lucky enough to have contact with some of them still; others have faded and moved on and are living their lives in their own way somewhere. I have never forgotten any of them.

Some things I take very seriously, in no order, are: life, my relationship with my family and friends, my dog, Pittsburgh sports, wine, my alternative beliefs, coffee, environment, children. A side note on that last one - I have no children of my own, but I teach and am very passionate about child welfare, safety, education and adoption services.

Pictures to come soon.