Life is a very interesting and complex situation. You go through life and make choices that have minor/major effects on everything around you. Some people make more wrong choices than right. I feel like I have made more right choices than wrong and have done my very best to live a responsible and steady life thus far. I am happy in my marriage, my job and my relationships with the people around me from day to day. Sometimes, it doesn't matter if you have made the right choices, the hard choices, or the best choices. Sometimes life decides to rough you up anyway; to scare you and humilate you in some form private or public.
I decided awhile ago to make a more active approach to living my life in a positive way. After going through the troublesome ordeal with our home modification and then being unemployed after graduation and living off of one income (by the way county employee does not mean good wages) I decided things can't get worse, unless I let them. Things started to fall into place; my home modification came through at the last moment after a year of heartache, I was offered a job that I love, I have experienced success in my career and have developed a more healthy and active lifestyle and along with it more social relationships. With all this positivity now being returned, you would think my life would be without major bumps. You would think wrong. While I won't go into my personal life details (I'd rather keep them private), I can assure you I am fine and will get through my situation with support from my husband. Sometimes I just don't understand the lesson I am supposed to learn by the curve balls of life. That makes it hard to accept when these curve balls smack me in the face!
Oh yeah, and if one more person tries to tell me, "oh it's God's plan and he is trying to help you. It will all work out." I will punch them. Just saying....first off it's presumptious to assume everyne believes what you do. Knock it off-it is a generic offering of comfort and I don't need generic anything. Sorry if that was considered offensive.
On another note-
With everyone blogging about relationships lately I was also inspired to do so. :)
I have had the same close relationships throughout most of my life.
me and Faith having martinis
Firstly, Faith Ann (yes Ann damn it) My rock and my biggest comfort in a friend and 'sister.' She has never judged me and always supported me and we have been friends for around 15 years and known each other for over 20 years. With only one 'fall out' fight on record due to my stubborness and her passiveness there is no one I feel closer to in this life-other than my husband, but in two different ways. I look up to her strength, security, intelligence and inner and outer beauty (the girl is gorgeous!). She is a phenomenal woman, mother, model and friend. I am so thankful to have her in my life. Where I have lost touch with many, she is one I never will. I just know I will be having wine and laughing with her when we are elderly ladies. This is something I take comfort in-always. It is hard having her on the other side of the country-I do enjoy all of the pictures and videos of her little one and it makes me thankful for technology.
Me and Jeff in Toronto
My husband. We have been together almost ten years and married for almost five. It has NEVER been easy-especially the early days. At this point in our relationship we are solid as a rock. I love him and know he supports me and loves me to full capacity! He makes me laugh and truly gets me. He understands what makes me tick and puts up with my crazy mood swings and emotions. I have so much fun with him and I will contintue to do so for the rest of our lives. He tries to comfort me and support me in all of my endeavors. He talks me down when I want to jump or he jumps with me and flies. He is compassionate and receptive and deserves an award. We have no secrets and support each other when things get rough.
My dog-I know people think that is weird, but it is a fact that having a bond with your dog can improve health. Unconditional love is such a powerful thing.
Brother and I with a tiny Anthony
My brother-though we do not agree on everything I know he cares about me and tries to understand me. We have had many memories growing up together. He is supportive and listens to my rants. Sometimes we have major disagreements about issues, but we can always over look these-eventually. :) I am so happy that he has not let distance ruin the close bond Jeff and I have with my nephew Anthony. He practically lived with us for over two years and it is so hard to believe he is 6 years old! I am also thankful that he finally found a woman that is worth a damn and that we get two more additions to the family along with her. Her and her children are now a part of this family and I am thankful for all of them. Mostly that I get to see them a few times year and they often call to chat, send videos or webcam.
Melissa (my sister-in-law) and I at the winery in Ohio
My brother-in-law Tim, me, and Jeff on my wedding day
My brother and sister in-law and their two boys as well. I can't believe how big they are-time passes very quickly and we wish we could get more chances to see them and talk, but life (yes that tricky life thing again) is sometimes just too busy. Time passes and with time changes occur.
Mom and I in the canyon
Dad and I with Blu dog ready for the game
My parents-supportive to a HUGE degree! I can't put it any other way. I love them and the opportunities they worked their tails off to provide for me. I truly don't know what I would ever do without them. I am a HUGE HUGE HUGE daddy's girl and love spending time with my dad. Whether it is grocery shopping, having coffee or watching football-I enjoy it all. My mom has taught me to be strong and to work hard to overcome challenges. She taught me to not back down to anyone when feeling threatened. She has taught me strength and will. She has taught me work ethic and how important it is to be myself-no matter what.
My friends and aquantainces I have met since living in the Kingman area-thanks for accepting me and taking time to give me a chance. Due to my slight lack of confidence, I am not comfortable in new friendships and social settings so I appreciate that I was able to make bonds here that aren't always perfect, but that work and without them I would go crazy. I have met people here that have big hearts and spirits and accept me and my odd qualities. :) Some of these friends are still here and some have moved back to where their roots are-all of them I am thankful for!
Relationships change over years. Friends and even family relationships are altered over time and cannot be maintained without work from both sides. I have learned that this is a part of life. I have also learned that all relationships are not the same and that is OK-they have different functions and purposes. Some blossom into more and other wither into less and some maintain their neutrality.
