Well, things have been hectic to say the least.
I have been working in my classroom for the past four weeks trying to prepare for the first day of school. Stressing myself out to no end and trying to get my shit together. Spending money on my classroom and spending all of my time at the school has been stressful, but for the most part I was ready in time.
Meet the teacher night was Wednesday and I thought I might vomit on myself, however the vomiting didn't happen and I felt twelve times better once I didn't have time to think about being nervous with kids and parents parading in and out of my classroom chatting and asking questions. I have said it before and here it is again-I am so fortunate to be where I am with this job. I have had a ton of support at the school and from my friends, family and husband who has eaten nothing but hamburgers and hot dogs for a week straight. First off, the VP came down to the classroom and told me to come to his office and take as many books as I wanted for my classroom library. A parent donated some gently used books to the school and he thought of me and how I might need books for my personal collection to use with the kids. I felt so supported by this gesture and I appreciated it VERY MUCH! Second, my teacher friends, some of whom I teach with the others are from different schools, have offered me ideas and plans and help and words of wisdom. Then I have Amanda offering to cut my laminate! YAY! Not to mention her daughter that came in and begrudgingly put all of my books in the desks. What an awesome helper she was, even if she would rather have Mrs. Olli as a teacher than me. lol In this field support is needed from you peers and family and friends in order to be successful. You can't just be a good teacher and make it. You need support. At least I do.
The first day of school was fast! The kids came in and before I knew it they were leaving. Everyone went home on the right buses and that was that. I already know who my "difficult cases" will be and who will be my responsible ones. I am very nervous about starting my first full week of school and diving in to the curriculum head first. It should be interesting. Starting centers and reading chapters and math etc. I should be very busy for awhile. Thank goodness my husband understands this and doesn't mind eating mac-n-cheese for awhile. :) I wake up at 5:30 and do not get home until 5:00. I know this will eventually get better, but I feel like there is always so much that has to be done. I am constantly finding things that I could prep or organize. It will get better and easier, right?
I am finally a big girl with a big girl job and I don't know that I love it yet. I hate that I could possible face failure and that I am totally accountable for everything that takes place, or doesn't take place, in my classroom. I am anxious to see where my kids fall come testing time and who will be my high kids and my kids that need extra help. Hopefully all of my kids show progress. We shall see.
It has been a great summer; visiting family and friends back east, going to Canada, having parties here and going to and having cook outs with friends here in AZ, and family coming out to visit and spending time with them! Having Anthony is always great and then my brother came to stay with us as well and it was a blast. My cousin came out and we had a great time too. I am truly so fortunate to have had such an amazing turn of luck over the past few months. I have a good life; I can't complain. I do, but truly I shouldn't.
I think of how negative and depressed I was in high school and I just laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. I had a great upbringing and a great family. My friends have been few, but close and so supportive and important. There were times I staggered through darker places just to see what it was like. Odd what we do as teenagers when we are trying to find ourselves. I am so thankful for what I have. I can't believe I am an adult now and in my late twenties.
The children talk has come up again and sometimes I think maybe I would regret it, but I still don't think that children are for me. I just hope that Jeff doesn't regret it and feel hurt one day. I love him and do not want him to be resentful or sad later. He says he wi is fine with it, but I wonder sometimes.
Time to spend some time grocery shopping and cleaning, since I am never home during the week anymore to do it. I better get out my crock pot cookbook for Jeff so he doesn't have to have mac n cheese again. :)
